Friday, August 31, 2007


My apologizes to you Dorky Dad...I really appreciate the award you gave me and I will pass it along very soon. Vacation has distracted from my blogging....but I will be back with a vengence on Tuesday...will pass along the award this weekend...thanks again for thinking of me.....

It seems the days are flying by and fall is right around the corner. You KNOW that summer is almost over when BB is down to the final 6. When the gnome and I watched the show last night, I commented about the opening there are more people walking out of the house after being evicted than there are left in the house....sorta makes me sad to see it all winding down....this season has NOT been a disappointment to

I have to say I was THRILLED to see Amber walk out that door last night.....of course, she cried her way out to Julie Chen..lmao. If there is one thing you can say about Amber, it is that she is consistent....she cries when she is happy....she cries when she is sad....and she cries as she loses what is left of her drug-damaged brain....lmao.

OK anyone that doesn't keep up with the BB8 dish site stop reading now...don't wanna ruin the surprise of what happens next....

I can not believeeeee that Zach won HOH...I just wanted to scream when the gnome told me that. Zach is really the only one left that I do NOT want to see win BB... He has coasted along....riding on everyone else's coat tails and playing both sides whenever it suited him. Gnome thinks the house has made a BIG mistake keeping Zach. Alot of the next competitions for POV and HOH are going to be physical ones (if previous seasons are a predictor). Amber would have washed out of that HOH competition last night in a heartbeat...she drove me nuts but I can see how they should have kept her...

Next Thursday should be an interesting show...there will be a double eviction. I hope that whoever gets HOH will get Zach out and be done with him....just my thoughts anyway.

My prediction will be that Zach will nominate Jess and Dick...then use the excuse that he is trying to backdoor Eric... time will

As always, to be continued...............

Wanted to mention on a side note that CBS is being helpful giving me blogger material. The same night BB ends, the new season of Survivor starts so BB friday will transition into Survivor all you Survivor fans, stay is coming in a few weeks...woooooohoooooooo......

Thursday, August 30, 2007


Wowzers , being on vacation can surely be

After a restful day of blogging and badging yesterday, we decided to get moving again today. Nothing too exciting...took gremlin #2 for a swim...then we all went to pizza hut for some food and did some back to school shopping.

It got cool here last night for some reason so when gremlin #2 and I wanted to go to the public pool for a swim, we had the entire pool to ourselves for almost the entire swim which we really enjoyed. The pool had been heated so the water was GREAT!! I feel sure that both of the gremlins and myself were fish in a former life because few things give us greater joy as a family, than swimming together (no offense intended to the great Dr Wang..lmao).

After our long dip, we got cleaned up and headed to O-town for the day. Did I mention that town is full of TERRIBLE drivers?? Some moron actually hit a metal light pole so hard that he sliced it into pieces and brought down some power lines in the process...can you say duhhhhhhhhhhh??? Of course, that backed up traffic but didn't delay us too long.

After we had enough shopping for one day, we decided to take the gremlins to an arcade for some fun. I think the gnome likes it more than the kids. Personally, I find it boring as hell but they all enjoy it, so I humoured them. I was there for about 5 minutes and I was ready to leave.....but they all seemed to have a good time so it was worth the drive.

All in all, a very good vacation day. It is hard to believe we only have 4 more days and the gremlins will be back to school. I am filled with a mixture of joy and dread...more to post about that later in the weekend I am sure....

I am off to watch the late edition of BB....can't wait to see who gets evicted...hope it is Amber.

See y'all tomorrow for BB Friday....

As always, to be continued..................

Wednesday, August 29, 2007


Just a quick post to say hi and let you all know I have returned. Most of you probably already know that because I have spent half the day catching up on your blogs and the goings on that I have missed. Again, most of you probably will have at least 1 -2 comments on your blog from the posts I missed while I was (sorry I missed y'all and I couldn't help myself..lmao)

I found myself talking about you all a lot while we were driving to the inlaws house. There was an accident or 2 along the way which held us up. A drive we expected to take about 5 1/2 hours actually took us just over 8 1/ oh man wasn't THAT

I am getting off now because there is a bad lightning storm moving in quickly...just wanted to tell you all I missed you and have enjoyed catching up today.

Oh and a special shout out to Dorky Dad. He has given my blog an award and I can't tell you how touched I am. His words made me smile and all I can say is thank you.

I will pass along the award tomorrow. Our drive home yesterday was also a lot longer and hotter than expected so I am still exhausted and sore. I will post more over the next few days about the MIL always gives me a lot to talk about...or is that complain about?? lmao.

As always, to be continued......................

Friday, August 24, 2007


Well folks...figured I would take a break from cleaning and packing to talk trash about last night's BB. All I can say is thank goddddddd they finally got rid of that nut job Jen. That woman was a total nutcase.

I was talking with the Gnome about BB last night as we are both avid fans. We both said the same thing about Dick...first we hated him...then we loved him...last week we hated we love him again. Although I am sure he isn't an easy man to live with, I enjoyed the fights I saw between him and Jen that occurred this week.

She went on and on about how his smoking was so vile and disgusting (which it IS but then she not only destroys his property but also goes against her word and breaks her slop diet?? I think BB should have just automatically kicked her ass to the curb and saved the time of eviction last

Dear Jen, you are quick to talk down and judge the other house guests but you are VERY quick to break your word and lie through your teeth at the drop of a hat so ADIOS my dear. In the words of Eric," as happy as you are to go, we are even happier to SEE you go"...hee hee I think no truer words have been spoken in that house this season..lmao.

WTG to Jess on winning her second HOH. I was sorta cheering for Dick but it was a well deserved win for Jess. That chick is one smart observant cookie and I think they should watch out for her or she could win it all.

My prediction for nominations this week are Zach and Amber...I hope it is Amber that goes because I am soooooo sick of her whining and crying. She has really started to get full of herself and I don't think she realizes how stupid she sounds.

Did y'all hear her last night talking about what a wonderful personality she has and that the audience of that show she was on with Danielle would all just LOVEEEEE her. I was screaming at the TV at this point saying WHATEVA BITCH get over yourself!!!!! lol.

I will be missing BB on Sunday night but will set the old VCR to tape it while we are gone.....I may even drug the inlaws so they go to sleep early and we can all watch it there...hee hee hee.

My love to you all....take care and play nice while I am gone.

As always, a BB be continued..........

Thursday, August 23, 2007


Welcome all to another installment of Soap Opera Sunday. Please forgive the early posting....I wanted to post this installment before we left on holidays today. Make sure to stop by and see brillig and Kate to check out SOS. If any of you want to join in the fun, feel free. Both brillig and Kate will link your SOS and it is a blast.

When last we spoke, Bill had just apologized and we had a magical walk....

The next day, I was so filled with nervousness I could hardly eat or even think straight. I was torn between wanting to fly to school and wanting to run away and hide. I was so afraid that he would cave and hurt me again ...and I just couldn't take more disappointment from him.

The day was dark and overcast. I remember this clearly because it had been raining and by the time I arrived at school, I was wet and miserable. The school yard was deserted as everyone ran for cover from the mist that continued to fall. As I stepped around the corner of the building, there stood Bill in the middle of the yard waiting for me. I froze.....again unsure if I wanted to proceed or run away and hide. Some how I mustered the strength to walk over to him but I wouldn't allow myself to crack a smile. My mental "armor" was in place and I was ready to strike back if he took the first swing.

As I approached him, he smiled and as I went weak in the knees, my armor started to crumble. He reached out and took my hand as we walked into the school together. That single action spoke volumes to me and I floated through the rest of the day, dreaming about him.

From that day on, we were inseparable. We saw each other every day....he walked me home from school whenever possible...and we spent every weekend together. Usually, we were together in a group of friends....but we still managed to steal away for a little alone time whenever possible. Bill wasn't much of a talker but that was ok...we were comfortable just being together. We would take long walks holding hands and for me that was enough. It was so wonderful to finally feel loved .

Once the school year ended, Bill and I were able to spend everyday together...our group swam or went to the movies. One fateful Saturday, we all decided to go to a fair that was in town. It was a beautiful sunny day and we were all in high spirits.

When we arrived, everyone scattered and went their own way. Bill and I wandered around for awhile and finally decided it would be fun to go on the ferris wheel. As we waited in line, Bill slid his arm around me and pulled me close. If I had been thinking straight, my radar might have warned me something was up...but it felt so good to be with him and it was such a wonderful day that I just ignored what my gut was feeling.

We got onto the ride and the view was breath taking as the fairgrounds looked over the river. After a few turns, the ferris wheel stopped to let off some other riders. Bill and I were stopped at the very top and as I sat back to enjoy the view patiently, Bill again put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him.

Suddenly, something in his eyes told me what was happening and it sent my mind reeling. I had never been kissed by a boy and I honestly didn't know if I even knew how. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion...his face moved in and all I could think was "please God don't let him think I am a TOTAL loser".

His lips brushed lightly against mine and I sat there frozen...unsure what to do next. I looked down feeling shy and insecure . Bill gently raised my chin and looked deep into my eyes. His were full of love and reassurance so I smiled at him and then snuggled close for the rest of the ride. If I could have, I would have made that ride last forever.

The rest of the afternoon was a blur and I was sad to see it come to an end. For me, it had been a magical day and I didn't want to go home. As the group met up, we headed home. Everyone seemed in good spirits after a fun filled but exhausting day.

The walk home was a quiet one for Bill and I but the days events had made me feel more in tune to him. As we got closer to my house, we said our good byes to everyone and headed off so we could be alone . We stopped at the corner of my street for some idle chit chat. I kept hesitating, trying to keep Bill there longer not wanting to let him go.

When finally Bill said he really had to get going I smiled and said I understood. I waited for him to turn, suddenly feeling shy and insecure again. Bill leaned down to kiss me again...and I knew I wanted him to. This time however, his kiss was different. It wasn't a soft brush against my lips but a direct kiss. Bill's mouth was more forceful and demanding this time in a way that scared me. As I tried to pull away, Bill grabbed me and pulled me closer not allowing me to escape...kissing me even harder.

As I pushed away and gasped for air, inside I was screaming. I had to run away...I wanted to scream at him but somehow the words couldn't escape.....I couldn't let them out. To Bill, this kiss had been a natural me, it had been an attack. Like a tidal wave hitting me, this kiss made me feel like I was drowning...

Of course, Bill had no way of knowing what was wrong with me. I wanted to tell him so badly....I wanted to say "it's not's me".....I wanted to share the HELL that was my life...and the nightmares I was forced to endure and hide from... I wanted to say it all to him but I just couldn't. The one thing I had learned from the horrors of my homelife was that telling was something I couldn't do. The shame and embarrasement that accompanied my deepest secret was something I would carry for a long time. In an instant, that kiss transported me back in my mind to a place where I was unloved....unsafe...and unwanted...that place being my family.

There was so much I wanted to explain to Bill at that moment and to this day, I still wish I had been honest. Not because it might have changed the way things transpired with Bill, but more importantly I might have found someone who could have helped me escape a lot sooner.

Instead, I did what I had learned to do from an early age...I ran. I left Bill and ran away from him...both physically and emotionally....As I ran down the street crying, I had no idea what the future would hold...would Bill ever forgive me??? Would I ever be able to find the strength to tell Bill the truth about why I ran away??? Somehow I doubted it...

Only time will tell I guess.........

As always, to be continued...............


Well boys and girls the "flake" family is hitting the road going on vacation starting Saturday. We will be away from bloggers-ville for about 5 days. I know I know...y'all are gonna miss me as much as I will miss you..(please say you are gonna miss me..lmao)

Somehow I think this is going to be us...the kids are old enough that they are pretty good to travel with but we are going to the inlaws house and that is a good 6 hour we are always glad when we arrive...the bunch of my diabetic bladder...roflmao).

My nut job boss emailed me last night asking why I hadn't scheduled myself to work next week , even though I TOLD him over a month ago we were going on holidays...awwwww they will miss me more than I will miss their dumb asses...roflmao.
To the loyal readers I have out there, no worries. I will post Soap Opera Sunday before I leave early Saturday morning (only a day early).....and I will be back in plenty of time for BB Friday...I think my first blogger stop when I get home will be to Jamie to find out what I missed while I was
Take care and happy trails to you all...I will still be here tomorrow for BB friday trash talk...can't believe another week has flown by....
That's it for now sports fans.
As always, to be continued.....................

Wednesday, August 22, 2007


I am sure that there are many lessons I have learned as a mother....some good...many not so good...

Tonight has me feeling reflective after a conversation I had earlier with gremlin #1. She was feeling left out and I think a bit jealous. She was talking to a friend earlier today that she hadn't talked to for most of the summer and this friend had gotten a boyfriend over the summer.

Gremlin and I were talking about why it bothered her and she said her friend is just boy crazy. At this point, I rolled my eyes and told her that I get it...that someday soon she would find her first boyfriend and then she too would join the ranks of teenagers everywhere acting stupid to please a Heaven knows I have certainly been there and done

I felt badly for her tonight......I know how it feels to feel unattractive and unsure and have ZERO self confidence. Personally I think she is absolutely beautiful and of course I am completely unbiased...hee hee hee.

Anyway, as I sit here thinking about our takes me back over the last 15 years and makes me wonder where the time has gone....

I remember how cute she was on her 2nd birthday, dressed in a red velvet dress trying so hard to ride her brand new tricycle when she could barely reach the seat...... I remember how sweet she looked in that blue plaid dress and white shoes she wore on her very first day of kindergarten...she was so brave and I was a TOTAL basket case....

And then there was that awful night when she was barely 8. I was a single mom then and working to support the kids (because fuckhead never cared enough to give us a dime ...but that is another rant)... I was working at a discount store called Biway at the time when I got a frantic call from a neighbour saying gremlin had been hurt. They wanted to rush her to the hospital but I said no (because I didn't trust the creep). I rushed home to find her and gremlin#2 covered in blood. It seems one of the neighbourhood boys had felt it necessary to throw a big rock at her face and it did some nice damage. luckily she was ok...but it was a night I will never forget.

I will also never forget the night just over a year ago when she graduated grade 8. It was a special night and she looked so beautiful...and of course I cried all night.

I look back over her life with many memories...good and bad. I can honestly say I was not a very good mom. I love both gremlins with all my heart and I WOULD die before I would let anything happen to them...but they have most definitely deserved better than me...

I grew up knowing violence, anger and betrayal...and unfortunately, I inherited my parents' impatience in many ways.

I am a strong enough person to admit that I am FAR from perfect ....and not as tolerant as I should be...but I have also strived to always do better than my parents. If I can improve and do better than they did, well that is something. When my gremlins are grown and produce monsters of their own....I will counsel them when I can and pray that they do better than I have.

I have tried...honestly I have. I try to take comfort in the fact that God knows the love I have for them in my heart . I would like to think the most important lesson I have tried to instill in them is that I will love them forever NO MATTER WHAT!! Since they were little, I have told them repeatedly that even when I am angry or yelling at them, I still love them no matter what!!

Those are certainly words I wished to hear when I was growing up.....I am not sure I would have believed them, but it still would have been nice to hear.

So to my dear gremlins...your momma bear loves you...and prays that when you are all grown and gone, you will know you were always loved...and that I always said the words...I never ever let you leave me without me telling you "I love you"...when my time comes to leave this earth, I pray those words will echo in your heart forever...and that you WILL believe them.

As always, to be continued............

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

I came across this funny today when cleaning out the ol inbox and thought I would share it. I have seen it before as I am sure most of you have, but thought I would post it just incase someone hasn't seen

Sadly, this joke could have been written about me and the gnome..lmao.

One night, after a couple had retired for the night, the woman became aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner. He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly. Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist.

He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the other.His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs.His gentle probing then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and then returned to do the same to her right thigh.

By this time the woman was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to better position herself. The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed."Why are you stopping darling?" she whispered. He whispered back,

"I found the remote."

hahahaha.... Happy Tuesday all. I will surely be back tomorrow to post about tonight's BB episode. Something seriously insane is going on in that house with Jen and I can't wait to get all the details.

As always, to be continued...................

Monday, August 20, 2007

Ok I was tagged by "Countess Jamie the Carnivorous of Fiddlers Green " to do this.....anything to make a fellow Canadian smile...especially one as cool as her....

First Peculiar Aristocratic title

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Her Grace Lady Darlene the Edible of Old Yarkhillshire
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Second Peculiar Artistocratic title

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Milady the Most Honourable Darlene the Nimble of Middle Witchampton
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Fortune cookie

My Fortune Cookie told me:
When the camel says quack, it is time to check your drink.
Get a cookie from Miss Fortune

Personally, I think the fortune is dead on...hee hee

I have tagged these royal subjects and challenge them to find their royal titles : burfica, phoenix and biddie.. (hee hee sorry guys)

Sunday, August 19, 2007


Welcome my fine friends to another addition of SOS. Remember to stop by brillig's and kate's blogs as SOS is their creation and their blogs are a great read.
When last we spoke, Bill had just shown up at my door after breaking my heart....(if you missed the beginning of the story, here is part 1 and part 2).
As I stood there at the door I could do nothing but stare into Bill's eyes. I seemed to be frozen in time. As much as I wanted to turn away, I just couldn't. I couldn't even breathe.I was torn....I wanted to be with just spend time with him. But at the same time, I wanted to hurt him as badly as he hurt me.
After taking a few deep breaths , I managed a quiet hello. I looked down because I knew that if I continued to stare into his eyes, I would melt and all my resolve would disappear. As memory serves, the conversation went something like this :
me- ummmmm hi
Bill - errrrrrrrrrr hi
(awkward silence where I distinctly remember thinking his eyes were the most gorgious shade of blue I had ever nooooo you ARE pissed at this goddess...)
At this point, my survival "don't screw with me" instincts kick in...
bill - soooooo whatcha doin??
me- (sounding sorta snarky) I am sorta what do ya want?
bill - I was wondering if you would take a walk with me...
I wanted to be strong. I wanted to tell him to go jump in the river and sink to the bottom...but again, I made the mistake of looking up into those beautiful eyes and all my resolve wafted away and deserted me in my hour of need.I didn't trust myself to speak so I just nodded and followed him out the door.
In my mind, I started to plot how I was gonna hurt him. I was gonna make him pay for crushing my dreams and then I would have the last laugh.
As we started to walk down the street, the sun was setting and it was starting to get dark. We walked quietly for a few blocks as my mind turned and plotted but no matter how I tried, I couldn't think of anything intelligent or whitty to say. I was so nervous I was shaking and it never once occurred to me that he might also be nervous. He always seemed so sure of the goddess I knew he was.
Finally, we got to a nearby park and decided to sit on a bench under a big willowy tree. After a few minutes of silence, Bill finally looked up....looked me straight in the eye and said that he was sorry for what had happened at school. I was so shocked to hear those words that all I could do was stare at him. My mouth was open but I couldn't seem to speak.
All the emotions of the day came rushing back, hitting me like a tidal wave. I looked down because I knew I was going to cry and I didn't want him to see my tears.
It was at this moment that Bill did something that still amazes me to this day. As we sat there, Bill reached over and gently held my hand as I cried. He didn't say anything or try to tell me not to cry. Somehow he knew that I needed to let these tears escape so he just sat beside me and let me cry until all my tears were spent. This was pretty remarkable and mature of him considering he was barely 15 and I loved him even more for it. It wasn't until I was an adult that it dawned on me that he simply might have been clueless as to what to say, so he remained silent (a lesson many MEN could learn but that is surely another
After awhile, we stood up and started to walk again. As we quietly strolled along, darkness fell . It was a warm, clear night and there was a sky full of stars overhead. We didn't say much...but somehow it didn't seem to matter. The shyness and awkwardness were gone . For a short time, we were alone in our own world and nothing else mattered. Bill slid his hand into mine. I smiled and my fingers tingled at his touch. I didn't know where we were walking. I didn't care. I was just happy to let him lead. At that moment, all was right with the world and I would have followed him to the end of the earth.
Somehow, we found our way down to the river and strolled along the shoreline. It was so quiet and I could hear the water lapping against the rocks at the rivers edge. It didn't take us long to reach "the point". This was a place along the river that I knew well. It was one of my favourite places because it was beautiful and peaceful and a great place to just think about life. As I stood there with Bill, we both looked out over the water. The river was calm and the moonlight shimmered over the water. I felt Bill slip his arm around me and somehow I was in his arms. In that instant, all the bad was forgotten and forgiven. I was in heaven and felt like I was floating on the water instead of standing at its edge.
My heart was beating so hard I felt sure Bill could feel it. I buried my face in his chest and tried to calm myself but that close contact only made my breathing more laboured. Bill reached down and with a light touch to my chin, raised my face to look into his. He looked straight into my eyes and told me how sorry he was. He didn't make alot of excuses....just said that he knew he hurt me and that he was sorry. As I stood there, trying to think of something to say, he leaned down to kiss me but I pulled away from him.
As I look back now at this moment in my life, I know it was the stuff romance novels are made of.....standing on the shore listening to the glistening water...alone under a star-filled sky...with the boy I had loved and admired from afar for a long time....but I just couldn't kiss him.
In that second, an iron gate slammed shut that Bill (or any boy) couldn't penitrate. I felt embarrassed and flustered and again had NO idea how to explain to Bill why I had pulled away. Bill had no way of seeing the wounds that I nursed in silence. It was the hell that was my life. It was my shameful secret that I shared with no one...especially not Bill!!
We started to head back home. The walk home was again a silent stroll but this time it was filled with insecurities and awkwardness. I wanted so badly to tell him that it wasn't him...that I loved him and wanted so badly to kiss him. But I couldn't tell him, any more than I could let him close enough to kiss me. I had a protective shield in place that NO male could lower...I hated it but it was a necessity of survival.
All too quickly, we arrived at the corner of my street. The same corner he had walked me to that first night after the dance. We stood there awhile unsure what to say or do. After a few minutes Bill just said "ok well I better go...see ya". As he turned to go, I grabbed his arm and he turned back. Bill gazed into my eyes and I looked up at him and smiled. I thanked him for the walk and told him I had a good time. Bill smiled back and said that he would see me tomorrow at school, then walked away.
As I stood there watching him go, I wondered what the next day would bring. This day had been such a rollercoaster. It had started out with so many hopes and dreams...then came such sadness and anger....then it ended with a walk that seemed like a dream. As Bill turned the corner and was gone from my sight, I tried to remind myself not to get my hopes up.
Tomorrow was another day and he might hurt me again if I trusted him too much. The nasty words and jeers spoken by his friends still echoed in my head.
But no matter what happened the next day, I knew one thing. This evening had been a night I would never forget. It had been magical in a way that, to that point, I had only dreamed of and never expected would really happen...for that, I owed Bill a debt of gratitude and he would always hold a special place in my heart...
But what would happen tomorrow at school?????
(cue sappy SOS music)
Tune in next week folks......
As always, to be continued....................

Saturday, August 18, 2007


Happy Saturday to all...

First let me invite you all to stop by and visit Susan. I read her post from yesterday and I am STILL laughing about it. Maybe I have a sick sense of humour giggling about this post...but I can't seem to help myself. Stop in and have a giggle...then tell her it is my fault you are laughing at her

The inspiration for this post comes from 2 of my favourite blogs. Every Saturday, palm springs savant does "The Saturday Seven"( I have linked him here because his blog is a really good read). Today, I have decided to borrow this idea. I actually got the idea from Corky (who I loveeeee BTW even though he isn't a BB fan). In honour of him, I post the following:


1) James Tiberius Kirk : What kind of trekkie would I be without putting this man on the top of my list. This man could lead his crew into battle,never lose his cool no matter how badly they were outnumbered...and his hair always looked perfect even when he was fighting some lizard guy or 5 romulans.

2) Spock - I think Spock is the ultimate in side kicks. Tonto and Robin aint got nothing on Spock. Just when ya think Kirk was in deep trouble, there was Spock there with his Vulcan "nerve pinch" or "death grip" to knock out the bad guys. I don't think I have ever cried as much at a movie as I did in Star Trek 2 when spock died at the end. I have seen that movie probably 50 times and I STILL cry when he

3) William Ryker - This character was also a pretty darn good sidekick while always being HOT!!(one of the few men I liked better with a beard). He was loyal and brave and even when given remarkable powers by Q, he still always did the right thing in the end. Being the hopeless romantic I am, I was so happy that he got together with Dianna Troy in the end and they got married... sucker for a happy ending here.

4) Kathryn Janeway - I loved this woman right from the start. Of course, how can I help but cheer for the first female Captain in a star trek series. She never let being a woman hold her back, but she wasn't a she-man either. She was strong , yet femine. Of all the enterprise captains, I think she reminds me the most of Kirk. Ready to kick ass and take no prisoners when necessary but still willing to try to talk it out and make friends when possible.

5) Seven of nine - This gal is on my list because when I think of her, I think of possibilities. She came from the collective and through the seasons, evolved into a character I routed for. She was willing to fight for a cause but still didn't take anyone's shit. It is sorta funny to see Jeri Ryan on "Shark" me, she will always be seven of nine.

6) Jean Luc Picard - I have to say he was probably my least favourite "captain". He was a little too stiff at times for me. My favourite episode was when he was assimilated and the crew had to rescue him.

7) Commander Chakotay - I liked this guy from the start (again maybe because he was a sexy Being the mush I am, I loved the chemistry between him and Janeway. My favourite episode was the one where they were stranded on a planet due to a virus they had picked up there. They were forced to make a life together all alone....and of course the sparks flew. They were rescued just in the nick of true Star Trek fashion.

Well Corky, what do ya think?? I am sure you are the only one who made it all the way through my list...I look forward to hearing your top 7 favs....hope you will take the challenge (just so ya know it is hard to only pic


As always, to be continued..........

Friday, August 17, 2007


To all those that left comments on my last post: Thank you all for your support and kind words. It is appreciated as always.

Welcome all to another big brother friday. The weeks seem to fly by. Last night's show did NOT disappoint... an hour complete with shocks and scandels...and what would a BB episode be without some back

Dustin's face was priceless when he was evicted....gotta love it when they are so pompous that they don't see it coming...hee hee hee. I think Dick was more surprised at the vote then Dustin was....and I thought Danielle was gonna fall outta her chair..

I was sorta hoping Eric would win HOH but I think Danielle will be able to clean house...

My prediction is that they will nominate Amber and Jamica...which would probably be a win-win. Really losing Jamica'a "holyer than vow" attitude or Amber's constant crying and whining... would either of them be missed???

Although,I think Dick is a bully and a least he tells it like it is for the most part. Gosh if he made it to the final 2, it would be the first time in BB history that the final 2 weren't the biggest liars...but there is still a lot of playing to be played before that can happen...only about 5 more weeks and we will see what happens......

Who are you cheering for to win???

As always,to be continued..............

Thursday, August 16, 2007


When does this crazy merry-go-round we call life stop spinning???

When do I get to jump off and catch my breath???


These words have been the motto I have lived my life by for most of the last 30 years. A very wise man spoke those words to me and no truer words have affected of my life than those.

I have spent my life fighting and trying to NOT let the evil and bad things win out over the good. I have tried to fight the good share the love I have in my be a better person than the people I was raised give others hope whenever possible...or at least try to make them smile...

I am far from a perfect mother...infact sometimes I am a truly shitty mom and I don't know why the gremlins even love me but they do for some reason...the poor

Anyway, this week has been one of those times in my life that I feel like I am treading water. I seem to be taking in big gulps of water and it is getting harder to keep my head above water.

I would like to say that the gnome is being supportive and helpful but honestly he is being a horse's ass. I totally understand that he doesn't understand why things from my past still haunt could he? He grew up in a home full of love and support, so he has no idea what it feels like to have to fight for your survival...for your very life.

I get that....I really do...honest. But he doesn't get why scars from my past still affect me much as I don't want them to, they still rear their ugly head at times like this.

I have spent most of today crying....and trying to remind myself that things could be worse...I do know that!! I don't have an incurable gnome isn't off fighting in Iraq risking his gremlins aren't in a hospital sick and fighting some terrible illness...I completely understand that things could DEFINITELY be worse...

But I also know that I am tired...frustrated...lonely and feeling unloved. And yeah ,ok I admit that today I am feeling sorry for myself...I am just alone and discouraged. When do I get to say enoughhhhhhhh...I give ....I surrender...just take me to your leader....because Scotty, I want ya to beam me up baby...

Sorry for the rant....but this is why I keep this blog after If anyone got this far, thanks for taking the time to read my rambling. I wish I could say I feel better now...maybe tomorrow. I have almost survived today, maybe tomorrow will be better....maybe not...

As always, to be continued............

Wednesday, August 15, 2007


The following is something that was sent to me by a dear friend. I have hestitated to post it because I didn't want to offend anyone. I love blogging and all my blogger friends are terrific. You entertain me...enlighten me and very often inspire me... It is my hope that this offends no one...if it does, I apologize.....
Written by a Canadian Mom
One of my sons serves in the army. He is still here in Canada. He called me yesterday to let me know how warm and welcoming people were to him, and his fellow soldiers, everywhere he goes, telling me how people shake their hands, and thank them for being willing to serve, and fight, for not only our own freedoms but so that others may have them also.
But he also told me about an incident in the grocers' shop he stopped at yesterday, on his way home from the quarters. He said that ahead of several people in front of him stood a woman dressed in a burkha.
He said when she got to the checkout she loudly remarked about the Canadian Flag lapel badge the cashier wore on her blouse. The cashier reached up and touched the badge, and said proudly, " Yes, I always wear it and probably always will."
The woman in the burkha then asked the cashier when she was going to stop bombing her countrymen, explaining that she was an Afghani.
A gentleman standing behind my son stepped forward, putting his arm around my son's shoulders, and nodding towards my son,said in a calm and gentle voice to the Afghani woman.
"Lady, hundreds of thousands of men and women like this young man have fought and died so that YOU could stand here, in MY country and accuse a check-out cashier of bombing YOUR countrymen.
It is my belief that had you been this outspoken in YOUR own country we wouldn't need to be there today. But, hey, if you have now learned how to speak out so loudly and clearly,I'll gladly buy you a ticket and pay your way back to Afghanistan so you can straighten out the mess in YOUR country that you are obviously here, in MY, country to avoid."
Everyone within hearing distance cheered!
As always, to be continued...................

Tuesday, August 14, 2007


Hope you all are having a great week. I thought long and hard about posting yesterday and I was just too wound up to do it. I kept looking at the sky to see if there was a full moon. There wasn't one here but OMFGGGGGGGGGG there should have been. It is enough to say I do NOT know how the gnome is still breathing....

God knows how much I love that man...after all I don't use the hymlick manouver (spell check) on just anyone...

Anyway, we survived and all has calmed down.....until the next storm hits anyway... but hey it isn't all bad,this will make for great material for SOS right? hee hee

Things are definitely looking up...tonight BB is on and tomorrow is badge day...woooooohooooooo....

I was glad to see Dick and Danielle go up on the block...I hope they get rid of one of them but that Danielle is a clutch player. She seems to be able to pull POV outta her ass when she really needs it so I hope someone else gets it and doesn't use it. Can't wait to see what happens tonight.

Have a great Tuesday all...and watch out for the werewolves..they ARE lurking every where...lmao

As always, to be continued...........

Sunday, August 12, 2007


Well ladies and we are again at another Soap Opera Sunday...where has the week gone??? LOL. Again, thanks for all SOS goes to brillig and please check them out also.......also here is last weeks SOS incase someone missed it and is wondering what I am babbling about here...

When last we spoke, I had just come home from my first dance with Bill.

After a long weekend spent dreaming of Bill and our dances together, I could not wait for Monday to arrive. For once, I was up early and ready to fly out the door to get to school because I couldn't wait to see him. My sister seemed to sense my excitement so, of course, she felt the need to move even slower (the sick minded PITA she

The walk to school was a short one but I never thought we would arrive. As I rushed ahead along the last block, I walked onto the school yard and immediately began my search. It only took me a few minutes to find him and as I did, I became frozen. I couldn't breathe or even think head was full of thoughts .. should I go over to see him?? If I do, what should I say?? Will he think I am a dork?

As I stood there staring, he and a group of his friends starting walking towards me. As they came closer he looked up and our eyes met. Instantly, time stood still (in that 14 yr old teenage puppy love sorta way). The closer he came, the harder it became to breathe.

When the group finally got close enough that I could hear what they were saying, they were giving him a hard could he slow dance with a younger girl than he was...and if he WAS going to dance with someone, why would he pick someone that looked like that ( I was after all, fat and ugly...I still am but that is another As they continued their tirade, he just listened, red faced and silent. The group brushed by me,sending a few nasty nick names my way to drive the point home that they WERE infact talking about me.

Hearing those words didn't shock me but they they always did. It wasn't the first time I had heard them. What broke my heart was that he let them say them and didn't say anything..... To me, his silence was worse than their words.

He had given me hope by choosing to dance with me that special night...for the first time in my life I allowed myself to dream that someone might care about me...then in one conversation, that dream was gone...all hope was smashed. I think having hope and having it smashed is harder than never having it at all.

I turned and walked away because there were tears in my eyes and I didn't want to give him the pleasure of seeing me cry. I walked around that day like a zombie, just wanting to survive the day so I could get home and lick my wounds. I felt so stupid.....for letting him in....for believing in a boy in a way I never had before...more importantly for allowing myself to believe in the future, for that was something my home life had never allowed me to do. I couldn't afford the luxury of dreams as all my energy was needed to survive. This was the first time I had let my guard down just a bit and in one swoop he had crushed what little hope and possibility I had allowed myself to feel.

The hardest part of that day was at the end of school...because we had band practise. As I mentioned at the beginning of this story, that is where my infatuation with Bill began. Watching him play those drums turned my insides to mush and I just didn't think I could take it on this particular day. I thought about playing sick or ditching practise, but we had an important year end festival coming up and I knew that wouldn't go over well.

I walked into the room with my head down trying NOT to look his way. It was a small room so even though I didn't look, I could sense he was there. I wanted to look at him badly and ignore him completely in equal measure. Mercifully, band practise started and that took my attention for the next 45 min or so...(music has always been my salvation , but again that is another post).

As practise came to an end and we started packing up, I looked up and there he was...sitting there watching me. As hurt as I was, I found myself staring back and smiling...I couldn't help myself. With Bill, it was an impulse I couldn't a moth to a flame. Even though he had hurt me so deeply earlier in the morning, he still took my breathe away and gave me butterflies when he looked at me that way.

He started to walk toward me. As he approached, he looked like he wanted to say something. At this point, his best friend Rob stepped in and pulled him away...and just like that, he was gone.

I packed up and headed home feeling beaten and dejected. As I thought of roller coaster I had ridden that day, I felt sad and angry. Sad for the unfulfilled possibilites that I had dreamed of that very morning walking to school...and angry because I had LET him hurt me. I had allowed him to come inside my stone wall....where no other boy had been allowed....and he hurt me. I felt more angry at myself...for letting him in and for letting myself believe and dream....

I headed home and went straight to my room to hide (which is what I did every day to survive).. After picking at my dinner and helping clean up, I went back to my room. As I layed there, I remembered looking out the window and dreaming just a few short nights ago. I began to cry ,feeling so alone and discouraged. My mom called up and told me I had company at the door. I couldn't imagine who it might be....I didn't want to see anyone. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself.

I wiped my tears and headed downstairs. I figured I would tell whoever it was that I was sick and get away from them as quickly as possible. After all, I had some heavy duty pouting to get back to.

As I turned to corner and opened the door, nothing could have prepared me for what I saw. Standing there, looking me in the eye was Bill...

What could he possibly want???

*insert sappy SOS music here*... tune in next week to find out

As always, to be continued...............

Friday, August 10, 2007


Well thank GOD blogger has decided to smarten up this morning...because it IS BB Friday.......wooooohooooooo. I wonder if I am just grateful the weekend is here...but that is besides the point..lmao.

All I can say about last night's eviction is that IT IS ABOUT FREAKIN TIME...LOL. I was soooooo happy to see Kail get her walking papers....I wanted her gone last week...and the week before...lmao.

I swear....this game is getting me all turned around. Last week, I was cheering for Evel Dick to go far in this I really hope he gets evicted next week. He is nothing but a big "dick"....everytime he doesn't get his own way, he runs around screaming and bullying everyone. Is he 2 or what???

Poor Eric...I have felt so bad for him this week. He has really taken a beating. Is he a liar?? he playing the game?? YES a hell of a lot better than some of them are...hmmmmmm Waaaamber comes to mind..the big whineass.

I could never lie and cheat the way these people do...but that is why I am not in the BB house. It does seem to be part of that game and if ya can't handle the heat, get the hell outta the kitchen.

I can't help but laugh when I see people talk about how honest they have been in this game.....when they have all lied or back stabbed at one time or another.....

So WTG to Jessica for winning HOH. It is my hope that she puts up Dick and Danielle....I would like to see one of them leave....or maybe Jenn finally?? What do you BB fans think??

As always, to be continued (blogger farts and all).......

Thursday, August 9, 2007


I have NO idea if anyone will see this. For some reason blogger is being a shithead today. I can sign in but I can't actually get my blog to load fully and I can't get to any of your blogs either. I hope it decides to smarten the hell up by tomorrow because it IS after all, BB friday...and besides I miss y'all when I can't read your posts...

Typical blogger...get me addicted then take away my "drug"...worse than a coke dealer...lmao.....

As always, to be continued ( I HOPE!!!)......

Wednesday, August 8, 2007


Today, I would like to wish a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my bestest buddy burfica. We have been online buddies for over a year now. I love this gal with all my heart and can always count on her for a smartass answer when the chips are down. More times than I can count, that lady has been here to make me giggle when I was on my last nerve or ready to lose it .

Happy Birthday sweetie. I wish you all the best and many more birthdays to come. I LOVE YOU!!!!

Now to the reason why I can't sleep and I am up at 4:30am ish.

Y'all are NEVER gonna believe what happened last night. I was on my break from work and trying to get the gremlins something to eat so they wouldn't die of starvation (yeah right whateverrrrrr). The gnome was hungry and warmed himself up some hotdogs . I had just gotten rid of the gremlins so I could go back to work,when the gnome came flying out into the kitchen. It was VERY obvious that something was seriously wrong and it took me about 2 seconds to realize that he was, infact, choking. Not that sorta "coughing, can't catch your breathe because something went down the wrong way"choking. The man couldn't breathe and was turning blue. Without even thinking what I was doing, I told him to stand still. I grabbed him and actually gave him the hymlic maneuver (not spelled right..sorry). He made a funny noise but it didn't completely work so after another few seconds, I tried it again. Well sure as shit, he spit out a big hunk of hotdog and started to breathe again.

After I made sure he was ok and didn't need to go to the ER, I lost it and started crying. Thank god I didn't have long left in my shift because I was falling apart. I just kept thinking...omggggggg I could have lost him. If it hadn't of worked, he might have died right there in my arms.....

I should mention at this point, that I have NOT had training in this procedure....I just saw it done on TV but wow, it worked. I have always been this way for some reason, when emergency strikes or something really bad happens ,right away this calm comes over me and I take charge. I keep it together and run on auto pilot until the emergency passes then I totally fall apart...not sure if that is a good thing or

Now I am feeling guilty. We had such a bad weekend. I was so frustrated and upset with him that at one point I was tempted to cause him serious bodily harm myself...but I would never actually want anything to happen to him.

I LOVE this gnome with all the love my heart has to offer...of that there is NO doubt. He is my soul mate...even though he does make me wanna cut off his penis with a rusty spoon from time to time...lmao.

I told him to cut it out and NEVER scare me like that again...that it IS his job to outlive he best smarten up....lmao.

As always, to be continued (thank GOD)..............

Tuesday, August 7, 2007


Happy Tuesday ev1. I hope you are all having a great day. I have been tagged for 2 different memes so I thought I would "kill 2 birds with 1 stone" to

Meme #1 - The middle name meme

I was tagged with this meme by Jamie. It made me giggle because I really HATE my middle name and won't even tell people in real life what it is....but since I love y'all so much I decided to share it

Here are the rules:
1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.
2. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of their middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.
3. When you are tagged you need to write your own blog post containing your own middle name game facts.
4. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Energy - there never seems to be enough,that bugs me.
Love- there anything more important to have?
Laughter - hearing the gremlins or gnome laugh can brighten even the darkest day. I loveeeee a good tickle
Enlightenment - in my eyes, this is different than intelligence because you have to have an open mind to be enlightened about life and it's ups and downs. I think this is an important and admiral quality.
Niceness - no one I work with is nice...but I still try to be.

There ya have I hate that name...lmao.

Meme #2 - I have been tagged by Biddie... the tag is to list 8 random facts about me or my habits. The question is..can I think of 8 that aren't too dorky? Here it goes.....

1) I spent 20 years working in the field of retail. I have been loved and hated by many customers...luckily more have loved me than hated me.

2) Retail was good training for my current profession. I do market research and even though I do NOT sell anything, people like to threaten and swear at me which just rolls off my (please don't hate me Dorky dad..lmao).

3) I am a fraternal twin. We are both female and my mom always said together we made the perfect person. We are 2 sides of the same coin. We used to be close but we no longer speak.

4)I am a badge-aholic. Anyone who plays pogo knows what I mean...and if ya don't, you are missing out baby...lmao.

5)I have a cat named Boots who I love almost as much as my gremlins. She is 17 yrs old and won't be with us much longer I fear...but I love her every day.

6) Ever since I was little, I have had the worst habit of biting my nails...I have never been able to stop, no matter how hard I tried.

7) I would consider myself a music "nut" was my salvation from a hellish home life when I was growing up and few things give me more peace and serenity.

8) I am a sucker for a happy mushy ending...I guess because I haven't had too many of those in my

There ya have it folks....

For either or both meme's I tag : burfica, heartsinglass, corky, and whoever else would like to do it. Have a great week all.

As always, to be continued....................

Monday, August 6, 2007


Hope you all are having a great Monday. It is a holiday up in this neck of the woods so we had a lazy day today. I haven't even left the house. The highlight of my day was playing Deal or No Deal and Uno with the gremlins. The main reason I played was to entertain them for a bit....but we had a blast and laughed a lot, so it turned out to be fun. It is a shame the gnome wouldn't haul his ass off the couch to join us...but we haven't had a great weekend so it was just as well....we had a great time without him so SUCKS TO BE HIM!!!!!!!

I have been trying to contain my BB comments to BB Friday but OMFGGGGGGG I just have to mention that last night's show totally pissed me off. I mean what kind of idiot flys a banner over the BB house to fuck with the game play of America's player. After all, he is only doing what America TELLS him to do...then some moron goes and fucks with him like that. The gnome thinks that CBS did it to make it harder for him to win....but I don't know about that. I think someone needs to give Dick a good swift kick in the ass. Every time someone says something he disagrees with he starts screaming at them....yet still I find Kail the most annoying of the bunch of them. Honestly, at this point I wish they could get rid of Kail, Jen and Dick all in one foul

Tomorrow's show should be Hope Eric wins POV...Enjoy your Monday everyone...glad y'all liked S.O.Sunday..

As always, to be continued................

Sunday, August 5, 2007


Welcome all to my first attempt at Soap Opera sunday. This is a weekly event that happens at twas brillig's blog and she and her blog buddy Kate have invited their readers to join along. I thought this sounded like fun....I have LIVED for brillig's SOS (Soap opera sunday)...her stories are great and Chad sounded like a dream boat...

Anyway, I have given a lot of thought to what I wanted to write about on my first SOS...and of course I thought..the place to start is at the beginning...

My first true love was a older boy that I will call Bill(names will be changed to protect the innocent..lmao). I was 14 years old and just starting to realize that boys don't have cooties when I met Bill. He was a year older than me and the minute I saw him ,I was in love. He was a drummer and I met him when I joined the school band...He was very dreamy in that rocker-wanna-be way.

I. of course, being 14, awkward and ugly didn't have the courage to even say hello to him....but I worshipped him from afar...

I know what you are thinking...puppy love isn't the same...but I still remember feeling how wonderful it felt to FEEL love for the first time...other than of course the love I felt for David and Shawn Cassidy..I was 14 after all...but I

Anyway, one friday we were having a school dance. It was the first year that I had been old enough to attend such functions, but luckily I was well prepared after many hours in the summer singing along to 45's of the Bay City Rollers and dancing quite professionally (or so we thought at the time).

Well we were all very excited to go to the was the talk of the school all day...When I arrived, the music was blaring and the lights were dimmed in the school gym...I was so nervous and uncomfortable that I almost backed out...but my sister was there and our friends, so we went in together...

After awhile, I settled down and the girls started to all dance together in a group...since dancing with boys was still foreign to us all...

The first slow song came I stood there waiting for it to end, I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Bill standing there. As I struggled to breathe, he asked if I wanted to dance. I couldn't even speak so I just nodded . He took my hand and let me out on to the dance floor. I was so nervous I couldn't stop shaking...but at the same time I was so excited I don't think my feet were touching the floor.....

You see, I am a twin...and she was always the pretty one...the thin one...the popular one...and everyone just let me tag along because we were twins and inseparable at that time in our lives. This was the first time in my life that a boy chose me...that someone in my life actually made me feel special, even if it was for only one dance.

That moment is as fresh in my mind as if it was

yesterday...muskrat love was playing...and as we swayed back and forth I wanted that song to last forever...I knew that this was the best feeling in the world and I just wanted to freeze that moment in time...

Like all good things, the song ended and Bill wondered off to find his friends... I watched him closely until the end of the night. He was sure to keep his distance but it made me really happy to see that he didn't dance again....I was the only girl he danced with . He reappeared again at the end of the night and we slow danced to Stairway to Heaven. This dance was even more enjoyable because I was able to cherish it a bit more, knowing that I was THE one that he chose to dance with that evening and no other.

After the song ended and the lights came on, Bill asked if I was walking home. I was, so he offered to walk me part of the way. We were all walking in a group, so that took the pressure off and it was a nice walk home. As we got to the corner of my street, I knew it was time for him to head home as it was getting late. For once in her life, my sister showed amazing tact and walked ahead to leave us alone for a moment.

It was at this moment that I started to get nervous again...I didn't know what to expect. As we stood there, with the moon and stars overhead, I just gazed into his eyes not knowing what to say. He was silent wasn't until I was much older that it dawned on me that he too must have been nervous...after all he WAS 15..lmao. He just sorta said "well ok see ya.." and off he went...

As I stood there watching him go, I knew I had been given a special gift that night...the feeling of opportunity and possibility...the belief that maybe someday I wouldn't just be the ugly, fat twin that was tolerated because someone liked my sister.

I knew that my life had been changed that night in a way I couldn't describe. As I went home and crawled into bed, I stared out the window at the moon and the stars...I wondered...would this be the last I would see of Bill? Or would our paths meet again...other than in band practise...Either way, I knew I would never look at him the same way again...

As always, to be continued.................