Hi all, welcome to another SOS...for rules on how to play see brillig or kate.....for the beginning of this story, see part 1 part 2 and part 3....
When last we spoke, I had just entered the restaurant and gotten my first look at Sam...
As I stepped further into the room, Sam smiled and walked over to greet me.....and with that smile, all the nerves and sickness I had been experiencing just a few seconds before instantly vanished .I know this sounds mushy and extremely unlikely...but honestly, this is how I felt at that moment... I can still close my eyes and remember that exact second...how Sam looked as he walked over to me..how I felt like I was floating on air as he guided me to our table ...I felt almost like I was dreaming.
I had been so convinced that Sam would not show up...or would take one look at me and want to end our date early...that I hadn't allowed myself to get my hopes up. All day I had been so worried that we wouldn't have things in common...or that the conversation would not flow easily and things would be awkward between us...but infact, the opposite happened.
As we sat down and ordered some dinner, we began talking and time seemed to fly by. Our conversation was so easy...we talked about his family and mine...I told him about my gremlins...we talked about his interests and mine...we just didn't seem to run out of things to talk about. I even mentioned a bit about the marriage from hell. I had not planned on talking about it because I didn't think it was very good conversation material for a first day...but Sam was so very easy to talk to, it just seemed natural and honest to share some of my past with him.
We sat there for hours...although it certainly didn't seem like it to me. When we saw the time and realized the restaurant was getting ready to close, Sam and I decided it was time to leave but neither of us wanted the evening to end yet. I suggested that we go meet a few of my friends at a local bar they were headed to...and Sam agreed.
As we left the restaurant, Sam took my hand in his. This felt so good and so natural that I couldn't help but look up at him and smile. As we reached his car, Sam started to pull me towards him . As I looked into his eyes, I realized that Sam was going to kiss me....and as a reflex, I turned my face away and looked down at the ground. It wasn't that I didn't want him to kiss me.....but it had been a VERY long time...and I just wasn't ready. I felt like a total moron and for the first time since I had entered the restaurant, things were uncomfortable and awkward. I was so embarrassed....but I had panicked and now I didn't know what to say.
Luckily, Sam was a gentleman and didn't seem to be angry with me. He smiled , opened the door to the car and waited patiently for me to climb in. I wanted to shrivel up and hide at this point...I had NO idea how to explain. As I tried to find the words to explain, Sam just looked at me and smiled...then asked for directions to the bar where my friends were. I took a deep breathe and tried to calm down. I think Sam sensed that I was upset because he started the conversation ball rolling again by talking to me about the types of music I liked.....
Music is something that I could talk about for hours, so I was able to get distracted and things quickly got on track again.
We had a great time at the bar. My friends were there and seemed to take to Sam instantly. We stayed and danced for awhile. Sam wasn't exactly the greatest dancer when it came to the fast and funky music being played...but when the music slowed, it felt sooooooo great to be in his arms swaying back and forth with my eyes closed. I had forgotten how great it could feel to lose myself in the arms of a man....and I never wanted those slow songs to end.
The night flew by and eventually it was time for Sam to take me home. It was after 2am by this point and I knew Sam had the better part of an hour's drive ahead of him....but selfishly, I didn't want to let him go. It had been a magical evening for me and I hated to see it end.
When we got back to my place, I invited Sam to come in for a little bit to talk some more. The "little bit" ended up again turning into hours and by the time Sam said he had to leave it was almost 6am and the sun was coming up .
I walked Sam to the door and thanked him for a wonderful evening. I had such a good time and felt we had really gotten to know each other.
As we stood there, Sam once again took my hands in his...then slowly took me in his arms. This time, he hesitated so I smiled trying to let him know that everything was ok. Sam leaned in and gave me a soft kiss on my lips. I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the touch of his lips to mine. Sam knew I wasn't ready for more than that...and it made me so happy to know that he could respect me enough to not push for something I wasn't ready to give.
With one last kiss, Sam smiled , said he would call me later and headed out the door. As I stood there watching him drive away, I smiled too. As the sun filled the sky, I looked back over our first date with much excitement. I couldn't be sure of what the future would hold for Sam and I....but this night, had been a good first step. It had been a giant leap of faith for me...but I could feel the ice that was my heart beginning to melt a bit....
I hoped Sam would call like he had said he would...but I didn't allow myself to worry....I decided to just enjoy how I was feeling and wait to see what would happen next......luckily, I didn't have to wait too long.......
As always, to be continued (next Sunday)............
