Sunday, February 24, 2008

SOS: AFTER THE M.F.H ENDED PART 3

Welcome everyone to another edition of Soap Opera Sunday



For SOS rules, see brillig or kate...for other SOS tales go see Abish. If you missed the beginning of this saga...here is part 1 and part 2.......



When last we spoke, I had just been asked out by Sam...


I sat there at my desk frozen...unsure
how to respond. I felt a mixture of
excitement and extreme fear all rolled
up in a big knot in my stomach. A big
part of me wanted to run away
screaming...but there was that
persistant little "what if?" in my head.
After all, isn't this what I signed up
for in the first place? To force myself
to take a chance even if it meant
risking yet another broken heart??


I couldn't help myself...I had to ask
Sam if he really meant what he said
or was just pulling my leg. In my
normal
"put-myself-down-self-
depricating" manner, I asked Sam
if he had actually LOOKED at the pic
I emailed him. He reassured me that
he had...and that he did infact like
what he was seeing.


The rest of the conversation that
night was a big blur...I was almost
giddy with excitement . By the end
of the evening, Sam had asked me
out for Saturday night. I wanted to
go so badly but explained that it
would all depend on whether or not
I could find a sitter for my gremlins.
I promised to let him know the next
evening and we said good night.


Although I was really hoping I
would be able to go, by the next
morning self doubt had crept in
and I began to think that maybe
it would be better if I couldn't go,
after everything FH had put me
through (if you missed that story
see here)...it was so hard for me
to open up and trust anyone
again....let alone a man
I had only just met and hadn't even
talked to face-to-face.


After much worry and doubt,
I decided to let fate run it's course...
IF I could get a sitter, I would go....
IF Sam didn't back out, I would go....
IF I didn't have a heart attack from
fear and drop dead, I would go...
those were some pretty big IF's.....



I called my sis Thursday night and
explained what was happening...
and she was TOTALLY against me
meeting Sam....she was convinced
that he was a psycho stalker that
was going to do his worst and I
would never be seen alive again.....
She almost convinced me not to go,
but once I put my foot down, she
agreed to watch the gremlins. Her
thinking was that I would be
murdered by Sunday morning so
at least the gremlins would be safe
with her (althoughthey would be
motherless according to her....)

Okkkkkk so I had a sitter lined up....
the first obstacle was cleared and
so far I was off and running........


That evening (Friday night) I
waited anxiously for Sam to come
online....I figured this was his
last chance to back out so it was
gonna be now or never......
As Sam signed on and greeted me,
he started the conversation asking
if I had been able to get a sitter to go
out for dinner and seemed genuinely
happy to hear that our date was on.
We didn't talk too long that night but
finalized our arrangements.


Sam offered to come pick me up but
I didn't feel comfortable giving him
my address...so we just agreed to
meet at the restaurant. I thought I
was being cautious but I didn't even
think about the fact that I had given
him my number so he could call if
needed (still thinking he might
change his mind at thelast
minute) With this information and
my name, all he would have needed
was a phone book to find me if he
HAD been the pshycho ax
murderer that my sister was
protecting the gremlins from..lol.


Anyway....that was the 2nd road block
cleared.Sam and I were all set to meet
the next night and we both had early
plans the next morning so we said our
good nights....while I tried not
to think the worst or panic...


It was a good thing that I had to work
Saturday morning as I was grateful to
have the distraction. If I had been off
and at home, I think my nerves might
have given me a stroke.

The bad part about working was that
I was so goofy and distracted, I kept
making stupid mistakes and finally
got in trouble from my boss. Normally,
this would have upset me
but I had bigger worries...


(maybe this would be a good point to
remind you all that I had been away
from FH for almost 8 years and I had
not had a single date in all those years...
and I hadn't really dated before FH
either...so even though I had
an ex-FH and 2 gremlins, when it
came to dating I was still in the minor
leagues....lol).


I was a TOTAL basket case all day.
As the time came closer, I got so
nervous I couldn't stop shaking....
There was a scene running through
my head like a bad dream....I could
see myself walking in the restaurant
and Sam wouldn't be there...he just
wouldn't show up...or worse yet,
he would be there and would
start laughing and say "gotcha!!!"
the second I walked in the door.


I mentioned my date to one of the
gals at work who took a page from
my sister and tried her best to
convince me it was all a mistake and I
shouldn't go....I must admit all the
negativity was NOT doing my self-doubt
any good at all...
Somehow I made it through the
day...got ready and all too soon, it was
time to go to the restaurant...


When I got there, I stood outside,
instead of rushing in.....It was still
winter and the air was so cold it hurt
to breathe it in....and although the
restaurant was busy, the cold
rushed people inside quickly, so I
was alone outside.


I lingered there....pacing and trying
to take a few deep breaths....I had a
million thoughts racing through my
head....I was shaking uncontrollably
but I knew it wasn't from the cold....
As I continued to pace, I began to
think I might actually be sick to my
stomach....


After what seemed like forever,
but was infact only a few minutes,
I managed to summon my courage
and I walked through the first door...

I paused and again tried to catch
my breathe before pulling the handle
on the second of the two doors.....
then with one swift movement
I strolled through the door and
entered the restaurant,trying to
look confident (not sure
if I succeeded or not).

As I stood in the doorway, I
suddenly wondered if I would
recognize Sam......after all, I had
only seen his picture once (well
maybe 2 or 3 times..lol).

I looked off to my right and
immediately I saw him waiting
at the bar...and at that moment,
I looked into the eyes of the man
that would melt my heart,
help heal old wounds and would
change my life forever.........
As always, to be continued (next Sunday).........

7 comments:

Luisa Perkins said...

Wow! Very brave. I'm interested to know what happens next.

Abish said...

Great story. It must have been really scary jumping back into dating after all that time.

Shellie said...

OH, how brave! I'm hoping the next post is a really fun date!!

Thalia's Child said...

Glad to see you back to finish this story up, and I'm looking forward to the rest.

Burfica said...

is it next sunday yet???

Jane the Sane said...

Yay! I love those across the room melting looks.

Phoenix5 said...

ARRRRRRG! She did it again!!!!! Just when the story gets REALLY good, we see that dreaded "to be continued..."

Glad to have you back, dear friend! I can only imagine how scary that was for you. My hat is off to you!

Hope you have a great week!