Sunday, January 27, 2008

SOS: THE END OF THE MARRIAGE FROM HELL


Welcome everyone to another rendition of Soap Opera Sunday...for info about how SOS works, or to play along, visit the co-founders brillig or kate...they will get you up to speed fast....and visit here for links to other SOS stories...


Today is the final edition of "The Marriage from HELL" ....if you missed how this story unfolded here is part 1, part 2, part 3 and part 4....


When last we spoke, it was late at night and the phone had been ringing...and FH was up to no good ( as usual).....


In a daze of sleepiness, I tried to settle back down to sleep. I don’t know exactly how long I dozed but it wasn’t too long and the phone rang and startled me. I answered it before FH could get to it but there was just silence on the other end for a few seconds then the caller hung up. I thought it was a wrong number so I rolled over and again tried to sleep.


About 5 minutes later, another call and hang up. This time I decided to investigate. Apparently, the moron on the other end didn’t bother to think that I might actually have caller ID.


As I went out to ask FH if he recognized the number, the phone wrang a third time. This time it was FH 's sister B. At this point, I started to wake up enough to realize something was definitely going on. B said she needed to talk to FH but I demanded that she tell me what the hell was going on. B refused to spill the beans but said enough that I could bluff FH into confessing the truth. Of course ,in true fuckhead fashion, FH tried to lie and bullshit his way out of trouble even when he KNEW he was busted. After a few minutes of ring-around-the- true-story, I decided that I was going to find out what was going on with or without him.

First, I called back B but she wouldn’t answer her phone. My next call was to the number of the 2 hang ups. A woman answered so I started the conversation with the words "who the fuck are you and why are you calling my husband at 1 am”.

It only took a matter of minutes for the truth to come flying out of her filthy mouth!! It seems that FH had been having an affair since shortly after gremlin #1 was born. The mistress at least had the guts to be honest and tell me what FH was too much of a chicken shit to confess….

After a few colourful words, I hung up and turned my rage where it belonged....to FH. It was shortly after 1:30 am and I refused to allow him to even wait until morning to get the hell out of my home. I didn’t care if he went to this mom, his girlfriend or to hell ....as long as he left my home.

At that moment, a door shut in my heart. Although I didn’t tell him at that moment, I knew our marriage was over and that I could NEVER forgive him again….I was DONE!!!!! I had given everything I had and more…..I had stayed in a loveless marriage a lot longer than I should have . He was the one that had ultimately betrayed our life together and the vows we had taken. For the two years we were married, I told myself that I had to give everything I had to the marriage and as bad as it got I never ONCE thought about being unfaithful…that is the difference between him and me..he would always make the messes and I would be the one left behind to pick up the pieces.
The idea of starting over again alone as a single mother scared me but not enough to even consider forgiving him.


The next morning he came back begging for forgiveness and expecting me to take him back...and actually seemed shocked when I told him to go fuck a duck and hit the road...but I remained firm and determined that our marriage had hit the end of the road.

When I look back at that time in my life, I realize what a gift gremlin #2 was. I was so upset when I found out I was pregnant but really, he saved my life. If he hadn’t come along, I might have stayed longer in a loveless marriage…maybe even forever.

FH's affair gave me the strength to get out….to escape the marriage from hell. I didn’t know when I got that call from the doctor what a different path my life was about to take…but I thank God for saving us.

With this, I began down the road as a single mother for almost 8 years. Without a doubt it was the hardest thing I have ever done but it was better than the alternative of staying. I have never regretted the end of my marriage for one moment…..being alone made me stronger and taught me that I can survive just about anything…

It also prepared me for what was about to come next in my life. My marriage changed me in so many negative ways that it has taken years to undo the damage. It would be a long, lonely life for many years. But the path that I had taken those first few steps down has been more than worth it.


As I think I mentioned at the beginning of part 1, I didn't intend for this story to be as long as it was. I sat down one Sunday afternoon with a pen and paper to write a small SOS entry...but the words seemed to just flow out of me. I sat there for hours writing and reliving that time in my life. I guess it was something that I needed to tell...and the words flew across the page and took on a life of their own.


Thank you for taking the time to read it...writing all this down somehow made me feel like I was letting it go...or at least, I was reminded of how far I have come.......


Thanks again ....


As always, to be continued...........

6 comments:

Shellie said...

J.E.R.K. So glad your life is better now and hope you can let go and go on even more now.

Burfica said...

Oh man I'm so glad you were brave enough to get out. That would be horrid to imagine you still married to that scum sucker.

captain corky said...

It took a lot of courage to walk away. I'm glad things are much better for you now!

Phoenix5 said...

Somehow, I am not surprised at the revelations in this episode. I am glad that you were able to have the strength to kick out that jerkwad and keep him out. I am also glad that you were able to continue raising your gremlins so well. Kudos to you for writing what must have been a gut-wrenching story. ((((((((BIG HUGS))))))

Hammer said...

Someone once told me that anger can be a useful life changing tool. Looks like you harnessed it just at the right time.

Barbara Doduk said...

It is wonderful to write it out like this. I know, I did it too. Sharing this is like letting it go. HUGS