Sunday, January 13, 2008

THE MARRIAGE FROM HELL..PART 3


Welcome folks to another edition of Soap Opera Sunday. It has been awhile but the founders of SOS brillig and kate took a break over the holidays, then of course my computer took a break from life...lol. Stop in and see brillig for SOS rules if ya wanna play. Read here for part 1 and part 2...I know it has been a long time since I started the story of "The Marriage from Hell". When last we spoke, I had just received a life altering phone call:
I remember that afternoon like it was yesterday. I was trying to get the gremlin ready for her nap but I was so relieved, I wasn’t really rushing at all….then the phone rang. As I picked it up, I saw on the caller ID that it was the doctor’s office. I assumed it was the nurse calling to tell me that once again the tests all came back negative so I said hello with a cheery tone ready to tell her that I knew I wasn’t pregnant so I would stop bothering them…..

The conversation went something like this:

Nurse: hi is this flake?
Me: Hi nurse, how are you today? I got my period today and I am so relieved. Please thank Dr S for me and tell him I couldn’t have gotten through this without him….
Nurse: ummmmm could you hang on for a moment, I think you should tell Dr S what you just told me.

**Insert puzzled silence and tapping of toes here**

Dr S : Hi there flake? Nurse tells me you got your period ?
Me : Why yes Dr S it came just today. I really appreciate all your support and I am soooooo relieved.
Dr S: Well flake, the nurse was calling to tell you that your last blood test came back positive and you are, infact , pregnant…


I was completely floored. My knees gave way and I sat down TOTALLY in shock. . I couldn’t even answer him…I was absolutely speechless.

After a few deeps breaths, the oxygen started to return to my brain but I was not ready to accept what he was telling me. My head was saying waitttttt and holdddddd it for a minute…I am confused. How can I be pregnant?? I had just told him my period started this morning??
The doctor told me to immediately head to the hospital. He said more than likely the “period” was actually spotting and I could very likely be having a miscarriage. Again, this made my head spin…but I told doc I would be there as soon as I could .
I couldn’t calm down enough to think rationally…in the span of about 3 minutes I had found out that I was pregnant and possibly miscarrying. I managed to get my Mom to watch the gremlin which was a trick in itself without letting her know what was going on…and that was something I wasn’t ready to do yet.
After a few long hours, I was sent back home. It was confirmed that I was pregnant and I was spotting. The baby was still alive but there was no guarantees that it would remain that way…and the news got even better…because it had taken so long to get a positive test result, I only had about a week or so to decide if I was going to keep the baby.
I was so confused and felt so alone. I had no one that I felt I could trust enough to offer me support WITHOUT judgement. I know it was probably selfish not to consult FH, but I knew what he would say and it would be me that would be the one taking care of another baby…still doing it all on my own…so I kept the news to myself.

As desperate as I felt, I immediately knew that for me, there was NO choice. I believe that EVERY woman has the right to choose what is right for them but deep down in my heart, I knew from the second I got that call what my choice would be. I have always believed that EVERYTHING happens for a reason, even if you don’t know what that reason is.

I hadn’t planned this pregnancy and now that I was pregnant I was scared shitless…but I also knew that this WAS my gremlin and I would love it as much as I loved gremlin #1, unconditionally and forever…NO MATTER WHAT!!!!
It took me a few days to figure out how to tell FH. When I did, he was thrilled….he didn’t bother to think about how much more difficult things were about to become but he generally WAS clueless anyway…so this wasn’t a big shocker…

The one good thing was that we managed to find a calm “truce” while I was pregnant. The pregnancy was a difficult one and on one other occasion, I almost miscarried again. The struggle to see the pregnancy to the end seemed to bring us closer together and for awhile things were peaceful. My energy was focused on doing everything I could to take care of my unborn gremlin and for once, FH was somewhat unselfish, helpful and supportive. This actually gave me hope. Maybe I misjudged him…. Maybe FH had turned the corner and was finally going to attempt to be the husband and father we needed……….

Only time would tell…but I was trying to be believe in him again.....(yeah I am shaking my head even typing that now..lol)
As always, to be continued (til next week)..................

11 comments:

Jan said...

A sad story written beautifully. Looking forward to reading more.

Thalia's Child said...

How stressful all that must have been.

Palm Springs Savant said...

ooooo Flake, I like Soap Oopera Sunday! Good stuff.

Wholly Burble said...

I have a feeling that those three minutes FELT like a lifetime--yes pregnant, also possible miscarrage. A lot to digest in a few moments time.

The only comfort in this is to know the "ending" which you do now--so please keep telling the story, I want to know how it all comes out.

chelle said...

Amazing that you could focus so much on your baby! That is so what you both needed! I am coming into the story late but I am hooked!

Shellie said...

Wow! What an emotional wringer!!

Burfica said...

i'm so glad you didn't lose him, cuz I know how much you love him.

Phoenix5 said...

You certainly know how to string out your audience! Can't wait for the next installment!

Susan said...

You are such a talented writer. I really enjoyed your story. My third was a total surprise too. I was on the pill when I got preggers with her! After a few tears and a couple of days of mourning, after all I already had two babies. When she was born the oldest was still two months away from turning three! Like you, as daunting as a third baby seemed at first, there was no other choice for me. I also believe things happen for a reason and if the Powers that Be deem that another child should be sent my way then who am I to say otherwise, as difficult as it may make things. We have always found though, that when we put our minds to something, we can usually find a way to make it work. I do believe in free choice, but my choice for myself is always for life.

Hammer said...

Great story. I was on the edge of my seat. You pretty made me think about how I would react...if I had the plumbing for it ;)

Brillig said...

Holy crap, girl. I'm on the edge of my chair as I read every word of this. Yikes...

Completely hooked here...