OH MR TAXMAN...COME TAKE ME AWAY

Here is a riddle for all you brainiacs...

Question- How do you freak out a gnome and give yourself a heart attack with the utterance of one sentence????

Answer - by making a mathematical error on your Income Tax and then saying "honey we owe the government almost $1600.00...wanna run for the border now or later???"

I would laugh if I thought this was funny...right now I feel like to world's biggest moron....

As always, to be continued...........

FUNNY CAT COMMERCIAL

Found this commercial on youtube...laugh my ass off everytime I see it on TV so thought I would pass it along...THIS is why I am a cat lover...hee hee...






As always, to be continued................

HOW DO YOU BELIEVE?

How do you believe....

When everything in you wants to give up....

When you finally work up the courage to take the first step and you are slammed back down on the ground ...hard

When your little voice tells you there is nothing you can do to make it better...and you feel trapped....

When your head tries hard to remind you that things COULD be worse.....but your heart believes that you have used up all your chances to make it better...that you have failed those who love you...and maybe they would be better if you were gone...

Wish I knew how to keep believing.....

As always, to be continued..........

PROUD TO BE A CANADIEN???

I am sure I have mentioned that the gnome is a true-blue hockey fan...the man bleeds Toronto Maple Leaf blue...and has passed this along to the gremlins (especially #1).

Since the dear "boys in blue" have already been playing golf for a few weeks now, the gnome has been following the teams that actually MADE the play offs. At first, he was just cheering for ANY team that count eliminate the Ottawa Senators..lmao...but he has been rooting for the Montreal Canadiens....

Last night, the gnome was thrilled to see a very good game 7 and cheered happily when Montreal won the series and advanced to the next round...so imagine how UN-thrilled I was a few hours later when this came over the news.....

I will NEVER understand why a bunch of drunken idiots would do something like this.... damaging the property of others in the name of victory really makes them all look intelligent.....

goshhhhhhhhhh sure does make a Canadian flake feel proud.....notttttttttt...

As always, to be continued..........

FOR MY MOM...

I have missed my Mom every single day since we moved here...

The gremlins and I used to see her every day...now we see each other only about once a week...but we treasure every moment we have together ...we tell her every single time we talk to her how much we love her...we hug and kiss her as often as possible...

She is going through something right now that has me very worried about her...our relationship has not always been an easy one...there was a lot of things from my childhood that I had to forgive her for...and it was not easy, but I am really glad that I did...because now we have a relationship that I would not trade for anything in the world....

this poem is for my Mom even though she doesn't read my blog( I haven't shared my blog with any of my family except my gnome and the gremlins)....


Dear Mom

Author Unknown

Dear Mom,

I said a prayer for you to thank the Lord above
For blessing me with a lifetime of your tenderhearted love.
I thanked God for the caring you've shown me through the years,
For the closeness we've enjoyed in time of laughter and of tears.
And so, I thank you from the heart for all you've done for me
And I bless the Lord for giving me the best mother there could be

As always, to be continued..........

CATS AND DOGS

I wanted to post for Soap Opera Sunday...but today has not been a good day and I can't unplug the words in my brain...soooooo lets just forget that ...

Got this joke from a friend...thought it was funny so thought I would pass it along...have a good giggle...lmao.

DOG DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. This morning I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell , so he is safe. For now...

As always, to be continued.......

LIFE MOTTO AND MONTRA

Well just like "the little engine that could" I am trucking along the track slow and steady....

Physically I am feeling some better...this sickness hasn't done a lot to help my battle trying to keep my depression in check...the last week in particular has been a hard one...

I keep reminding myself of the words that were told to me by a very wise man many years ago...he said you must "get through today...worry about tomorrow when it comes..."

no truer words have ever been spoken to me...

As I type this, I am reminded of a saying from the show MASH.

One of the characters , Dr Sydney Freeman said the following on his very first appearance on the show...and then again on his very last scene in the series finale...and it always stuck with me....

"ladies and gentleman take my advice,
pull down your pants and slide on the ice.."

lmaooooooooooo

As always, to be continued (even when I am being weird).....

THERE ARE SIGNS OF LIFE

Hi there....remember me???? lol

These last 4 weeks have been nutso...but I am glad to say I finally feel like I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel....I am almost afraid to say that for fear I might jinx myself...lol.

Today was the first day in almost a month that I actually managed to wash a few dishes, sweep the kitchen floor and cook the gremlins dinner without feeling like I had to pass out or vomit...a big step forward in my book.

I have been missing you all terribly but I have been so weak that sitting at the computer hasn't been something I have been able to do (other than for work). Man ohhhh man has there been more than once that I have wished I had a laptop during this sickness..lol.

I will be back lurking and filling your comment boxes in the next few days...I am looking forward to catching up on everything I have missed. I hope you all are well .

As I was cleaning out my overfull email inbox (see?? it isn't only my blog that has been neglected..lol)...I came across this funny and thought I would share it ...it gave me a giggle...


A Minnesota Story :

All of his life Bill had heard stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had been able to walk on water on their 21 st birthday. On that day, they'd walk across the lake to the boat club for their first legal drink

So when Bill's 21 st birthday came around, he and his pal Tim took a boat out to the middle of the lake. Bill stepped out of the boat and nearly drowned! Tim just managed to pull him to safety.

Furious and confused, Bill went to see his grandmother.
"Grandma, it's my 21 st birthday, so why can't I walk across the lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?"

Granny looked into Bill's eyes and said, "Because, you dumb fool, your father, grandfather and great-grandfather were born in January, you were born in July."

lmaooooooooooo

As always, to be continued.......

MISSING YOU ALL....

Just a quick note incase anyone stops in to check on me...

I am still alive(I think)...

I am still breathing...sorta...

I am still sick...going back to see my doctor tomorrow..

Hope all of you are well...I miss you all...

As always, to be continued.....

THE WORLD IS SPINNING...OR IS IT THE DRUGS???

What a longgggg couple of weeks it has been. Finally, I think I am starting to feel human again....well at least, I can sit up for more than 5 minutes without feeling like I am going to pass out...so that is a step in the right direction.....

It all started on Easter Weekend....the gnome and I weren't feeling that great on Thursday night but just put it down to normal end-of-the-week-sick-of-winter bluckiness.

Neither of us felt better on Friday but didn't worry as it was Good Friday so we figured the day's rest would do us both good.
We had a lot of plans on Saturday but by the time we woke up, the gnome had a pretty good fever going. I didn't feel much better but managed to take care of the gnome and keep things floating along as best as I could.

Let me say, at this point, that the gnome is not the easiest patient when he is that sick...(sorry guys but realllllllyyyyyy...lol)

Things went down hill fast...by Easter Sunday, the gnome was raging with fever and not eating or drinking at all....I warned him that getting dehydrated wasn't going to make things better...but again...bad patient-itis kicked in...

Each day we got progressively worse...by Monday night both of us had a fever and felt like a truck had run us over...neither of us was eating and it was everything we could do to hold down a bit of fluids.

We toughed it out until Wednesday morning (which happened to be mine and gremlin #1's birthday). I knew the gnome was not improving but couldn't get him in to see his doctor so I bugged him to go to the ER. He finally agreed as long as I went with him to get looked at...so as soon as the kids were gone to school, off we trekked to the local hospital.

I am sure we were quite a site as we sat there in the waiting room. It was a long day there but I was glad we went. As soon as the nurse took the gnome in, he just about fainted....then I really got worried.

We spent the day hooked up to IV's because as I had feared, we were both dehydrated. After we both had chest x-rays, ECG's and blood work it was determined that we both had a nasty flu bug.....but not to be outdone by the gnome, mine had developed nicely into not only a sinus infection but also bronchitis....

I wouldn't have even gone to the ER if I hadn't been convinced the gnome needed medical attention...so I guess that is what I get for being a know-it-all...lol.

The highlight of the visit was the nurse that put in our IV's...she hooked up the gnome first...then as she is sticking me with a big needle she says "awwww nothing says love like his and her IV's.."

I fought back by reminding her (and the gnome) that it was my birthday and an IV did NOT count as the birthday dinner I had been promised....lol.

To sum up....Easter didn't happen...my birthday totally sucked and I didn't even get a lousy card...

Can't WAIT to see what the fates have planned for the July 1st holiday (that's July 4th for you Americans out there)....

The good news is I have been gone so long ,I have posts just popping out of my fingers...so much to catch you up on, so little time (not really, but it sure sounded good..lmao).

As always, to be continued..............

STILL HERE...STILL SICK

I am still here...alive and breathing ...well sorta..lol

I am still really sick and can't really sit up for more than a few minutes at a time without feeling like I have to faint...

I am still here...missing you all and hoping everything is well with you....

Can't wait to get better and read what I have missed...

Until then, please take care of each other cause I heart y'all lots....

((((((hugs))))))