SOS:AFTER THE M.F.H. ENDED PART 6

Welcome all to another edition of SOS. Sorry it is late...but better late than never. For SOS rules or if you want to join in the fun, pop on over to see Kate for all the juicy details and some great stories.

For the beginning of this story, see part 1,part 2,part 3,part 4 and part 5

The day after that first date with Sam I walked

around on cloud nine all day. I spent the entire

day thinking of him...and giggling at absolutely

everything. As day turned to evening, I got the
gremlins settled in bed as quickly as possible

and sat down at the computer hoping he would

come on. I tried to be patient...but the longer

I waited, the more I began to doubt myself.

All the old fears and thoughts came crashing

over me like a huge tidal wave...what if the date

had gone better for me than him...what if Sam

got home and realized he had made a mistake

and never wanted to see me again...what if he

saw me as the big, fat loser I saw when I looked
in the mirror.

After sitting there for awhile torturing myself,

I did what I had learned to do from many years

of hurt and disappointment. I decided then

and there that I wasn't going to trust him...I

wasn't going to put myself out there again and

have my heart smashed,,,it would be better to

just walk away now before I got in deeper and

couldn't get out...yeahhhh ok it sounded like

a good plan...but I was fooling myself because

I was already in over my head.

The more time we spent together, the harder I

fell. I knew that I was falling in love with Sam..

and that felt great but it also scared the shit out

of me... Sam seemed to be feeling the same way

but hadn't said the "L" word yet.

As the days passed, I tried to be patient because

I was determined NOT to say it first....Honestly,

I started to get really pissed( and more than a

little discouraged) because he wouldn't say it

either. It never dawned on me that he was just

as scared as I was to be the first to utter those

words.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. Sam had

come to see me and I had been in a pissy mood

since the second he walked in the door. Looking

back on this now I can see what a total bitch I was

being....I knew I was being a total boob...but I

was frustrated and unsure and needed him to

vocalize what he was feeling.

He waited until the gremlins were in the bed
asleep before he confronted me. It didn't take

much poking and I sorta lost it. I was so

eloquent....so poetic...so well spoken...

I said, " yeah I'm pissed...I love you god damn

it and you are too stubborn to say it."

Sam sat there shocked into silence...I knew

that I had made a mistake..and feared that this

would be the end of Sam and me...

As always, to be continued(next Sunday)....