Monday, July 27, 2009

CALMING DREAMS

Today was a much better day...even the weather decided to co operate and give us a break from all the rain we have been getting.

We went to see my Mom tonight which I always am glad to do....moved away 3 years ago and I still miss her every day as much as I did then.

We are all adjusting to life without Sylvester....although it is hard...but something happened last night that has helped me a lot.

Since we put him down I have been feeling soooooo guilty....the gnome wanted to go to the vet a week ago but I kept stalling because I really didn't think it was anything serious and I didn't want to get roped into spending alot of money that we really can't afford....so of course my first thoughts were that we might have saved him if I had gone right away. The vet assured me that this isn't the case but I have still felt bad....couldn't help thinking what iffff......

Anyway, last night in the middle of the night I felt a soft kitty resting against my side and purring loudly....I reached out to pet Tigger assuming he was there only to find there was nothing there....I got up to go to the bathroom and saw Tigger upstairs so I assumed I had just been dreaming.

When I got back to bed I couldn't sleep...it had seemed so real and vivid. The more I thought about it, the more I came to believe that it was Sylvester laying with me as I slept. He knew that I have been missing him but also been torturing myself with guilt over him....I honestly believe that he came to be with me for a bit...so I would know that he is okay and happy now in heaven. When he went to sleep that last day I told him to go to heaven and reassured him that it would be okay...that Bootsie would be there waiting for him to take care of him until I could be there to take care of them both when it is my time to see them again one day....

It may seem odd to some.....but it has given me some peace today....I miss him still and have cried again today....and will prolly cry again at some point tomorrow...maybe even the next day too...but at least I feel calmer knowing him loved me enough to come back and let me know he is okay....that helps a great deal.

As always, to be continued.......

7 comments:

Rita said...

Great to see that you are claming dreams. Are you seriously doing this?


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powdergirl said...

I'm sorry for your loss, it's hard to lose pet.

I've felt the cat ghosts too and I'm not shy about admitting that.

samantha said...

Just found your blog, and am very grateful for the time and effort you've gone to here. Great and varied taste
Samantha
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