LONG TIME,NO TYPE

It has been a longggggg time since I have posted here....

I have gone to the link for this blog a number of times with the intent of deleting it and being done with it....but something stops me everytime.

The logical side of my brain tells me to do it...just click "delete blog" and it will be done that quickly....after all, no one even comes to read it that I know of....but still I can't allow myself to do it...

I started this blog at the urging of an online friend...we had a falling out but I still think of her from time to time...and wonder how life is treating her. This blog was a valuable tool in the beginning...as I fought to find a light in the darkness and a path out of a long never-ending tunnel...this blog gave me a voice to say the things that I was thinking and couldn't vocalize...

I know the gnome's love for me is unconditional and never ending....but until you have been in the depths of depression you can never truly understand how much it isolates you...and it can destroy you if you don't find a voice that allows you to say what you need to say...uncensored ....and an ability to find a way to ask for help...or something to hold on to so you don't sink even deeper...

I was blessed with a very special friend that has helped me more than she will ever know...I tell her everytime I talk to her how much I love her because she is a gift from God and there is no way I would have ever survived this last year without her wisdom, guidance and strength.... she is so brave and amazing...she listens to me endlessly without judgement...supports me always, and calls me on my shit when it is needed...love ya buddy...you are my rock and my angel...

This blog has allowed me to have a voice...I am not done my battle and I am not sure I ever will be...but at least I have gotten to a place where I can once again "fake it" when I am having a bad day...and appreciate the sunshine when I am having a better day!!

I have a few friends that I met through this blog that I now have on facebook ...I enjoy keeping up with their lives that way. If you are reading this and want to be one of those friends, please leave a comment and I can contact you with info how to add me.

Once again, I am here posting...when I need to...I am not ready to hit that "delete blog" button and I am okay with that...

Hope this finds everyone in bloggerland well...

Once again and as always, to be continued................