Thursday, September 4, 2008

GOOD BYE POST

Edit:
Not sure why this post wasn't allowing comments, it wasn't something I had done(maybe a blogger fart). I think it is fixed now...thanks to Brillig for letting me know about the problem...take care.

This will be my final post on this blog.

When I started posting 18 months ago, I found it to be a valuable tool for me to straighten things out in my mind , sometimes to vent and or share funny gremlin stories. But I don't feel this way anymore so I am done.

I posted something 2 days ago that was very raw...and hard to right...but I did feel better when I was done...which was the point of it all in the first place...

Since that post, it seems that I haven't been able to read my blog without getting angry or upset and that isn't helping so I am walking away.

I know that all the comments were left with the best of intentions...but right now, I don't feel helped I feel...almost insulted.

At first, I read the comments and even though they did upset me, I considered them thoughtfully and discussed them with the gnome. But after I wrote a post stating that I AM getting medical attention and feel that is all I need right now...there were comments left that upset me all over again instead of just letting it drop. By posting, I understand I opened myself up to comments...but by others commenting , I feel that I have the right to further comment....

Again, PLEASE understand that I honestly do know that these people were commenting because they care...and it is not my intention to be rude in anyway. I can only be honest about how I feel...I feel that just because I expressed myself and was very honest about my depression, that doesn't mean that I am somehow incapable of having judgement about what is best for me. I stated clearly that while I agree hospitalization is a very important tool, it is not for me. I admit I am depressed and as soon as it got to the point where I felt needed help, I contacted my doctor immediately. Being depressed does not mean that I can't be self aware...I am not burying my head in the sand hoping it will all just go away...and dealing with things to the best of my current ability.....

Thank you all for caring and listening all these months. It has meant a great deal to me. But I went without for posting for weeks because I didn't feel I could be honest and I didn't want to pretend....but everytime I have opened my blog in the last 48 hours, it has only upset me or irritated me...and it just isn't worth it anymore. From the first post, I said that when it wasn't fun or helpful anymore, I was gone...and I am there...

I will be lurking around many of your blogs, although probably not commenting much.

Please take care ev1, my love is sent to you all..always!!!

4 comments:

Joy T. said...

I would say it's probably best if that's how you're feeling. Either that or turning off all comments and just writing if the writing helped you. Believe it or not I have seen blogs do that.

I was quite touched by the support of everyone who left comments and I'll sure remember what a caring bunch of people you had visit your blog.

It will be sad to take you out of my feed since you're not posting any more but I have certainly enjoyed reading your blog. You take care and most importantly....be well.

jAMiE said...

I will miss you and your blog

aims said...

I'm with Joy completely.

When you get on the other side of this I hope you'll be able to look back on the comments left here and see something different.

Wishing you great mental health.

Palm Springs Savant said...

Take care Flake, and feel free to stop by now and then~