Thursday, November 1, 2007

I'M BACKKKKKKKKK

I want to send out a big helloooooo and thank you to all that have send well wishes and thoughtful comments over the last week. They are appreciated more than you will ever know!!



I have missed you all greatly and I will be visiting your blogs over the next day or 2 to get caught up on everything I have missed this past week and I have so many things to share that I feel it trying to pour out of my fingers so fast I can barely keep up..lol.



I guess the most important thing to start with is an explanation as to why I haven't posted in a week....



I know there is more than one person that reads my blog that will understand when I say I have been depressed this last week. It is something that I have struggled with on and off over the last 25 yrs . I have been blessed that it isn't something I have had to be medicated for since I was about 20 (which was about 20 yrs ago..lol)



It is something that is hard to describe but these "bouts" of depression for lack of a better word are difficult mostly because I don't usually see them coming and sometimes it can be the silliest thing that gets the ball rolling.



We all have times in our lives when we are feeling blue or get discouraged...unfortunately these periods of depression are a bit more than that and are harder to shake off, for me anyway.



I was lucky enough to have a chaplain when I was younger that helped me a great deal. He listened without judgement, offered suggestions about how to deal with the issues from my childhood and gave me tools to use to help me pull myself out of these dark periods.



Almost 20 yrs later, I still here his voice in my head at times...thinking to myself "what would he say if I could talk to him now"....often just thinking about that helps me wrap my brain around what is bugging me...however this wasn't one of those times...



What set me off this time?? It was a stupid comment made by my STUPID boss...things are slow at my job right now and they have been slicing hours for the last few weeks..when my boss informed me of this (by email..the dumb chicken shit)...his reasoning for cutting my hours was that I am an "unacceptable employee"...



It wasn't just this label that caused this downtime, it was more like the straw that broke the camel's back....combined with my dear gremlin #2's decision to turn back into a TOTAL shithead the second he turned 13 (but that is another post in itself..lol).



Anyway, I spent most of the day sleeping today...when I woke up I smacked myself upside the head (literally) and said ok girlie, enough is enough...get your ass up and get back to life again...so here I am!!!! I am back to treading water like normal (whatever normal is..lol). It is times like these that really make me miss my river...that place that always makes me calm and serene no matter how badly I am struggling....

Anyway, I do thank you all again for your thoughts and kind words. I will be stopping in to see you all over the next day or so (I would do it right now if the gnome weren't here tapping his toes because he needs the computer..lol).

I apologize in advance for all the comments I will be leaving in my efforts to catch up...just remember they are posted with love.

As always (now that I am among the land of the blogger-living again), to be continued.............

10 comments:

HoosierGirl5 said...

Glad you're feeling better. I understand about the "total shit" problem...only it hit my oldest when he turned 17!

Hang in there!

J.

Hammer said...

Well damn, your boss sounds like a frgging tool.

I hope you stay on the up swing. we're here to listen. :)

Miranda said...

Welcome back....oi...I agree with hammer. What a tool.

Big hugs to you, and we're all here for you. Sorry about the gremlin. Funny how kids all act out at different times. My oldest never really did. My youngest, was a late bloomer, and seems to be an ongoing thing. Hopefully that will end PDQ. lol

Burfica said...

I am so glad you are back!!! I have missed you my dear friend!!!!

You and I are very similar in how we get depression. It's always there lurking, but we usually know how to stave it off. Then one fricken thing happens and a few days later we realize we are sunk to the bottom.

that's how I am, and it's a struggle to come back out of it.

I got it rather bad around my surgery, and struggling with the bills because of that.

I am always here for a shoulder, or for a sugar free chocolate bar. hehehehe

I love ya hun!!!!

Canadian flake said...

hoosier - I am barely surviving a 13 yr old....17 sounds scarier..lmao.

hammer - thanks and yes he is a dickwad..lol

miranda- thanks for the hugs..they are always appreciated.

burfica - nice to know I am not the only one that struggles with this issue...love ya honey.

Maureen said...

Ah, glad to have you back! But never feel guilty about the time away; YOU are more important than the blog. Really.

BTW, I had to chuckle the other day. I was helping a nurse at work (installing a database on her computer), when lo and behold, she had a single photo tacked onto her wall... the very same puppy you have as your avatar! So even at work, I was thinking of you.

Take care, and be well.

Phoenix5 said...

Welcome back, my friend! Sorry to hear about your depression. Count me in as one of those who understands. It's strange how some people can be such lousy bosses, yet still ARE bosses, isn't it? I have a couple of them at my job too. Fortunately for me, I don't think they've noticed me yet...

Looking forward to reading more posts from you soon! Take care and have a relaxing weekend... maybe talk the gnome into taking you for a drive to the river... at least you live close enough to it!

captain corky said...

I'm glad you're back too. Know why? Cause I'm your friend and I care about you.

But please don't tell anyone about the emotianal outburst I just had. I have a rep to protect...

Marni said...

I'm glad you're back -- missed you terribly. If you ever need anyone to talk to just email me... I'll send you my digits.

Hugs, hon!

Palm Springs Savant said...

Well hang in there..glad you are self-aware...its an important step!