Thursday, October 25, 2007

WONDERINGS.....


I am wondering......


wondering why being the mommy bear always has to be so darn hard.....


wondering which decision I made in my life lead me down this road that always seems to go uphill......


wondering where it is written in the rule book that every boss I have MUST treat me unfairly and make me feel worthless...


wondering why I can't open that door that will enable my gremlins' mouths AND brains to work at the same time...


wondering what will happen to a gremlin with severe ADHD when he is too old for his mommy bear to protect him from his own short sightedness and bad choices....


wondering how that same mommy bear can forgive herself for making bad choices that are still coming back to bite her in the ass almost 20 years later....


wondering why only HINDsight can be 20/20.....


As always, to be continued...............

21 comments:

Hammer said...

Those are some tough ones. It sometimes helps to compare your life every couple of years to see it in perspective.

Hope you get some breakthroughs!

Phoenix5 said...

Hakuna Matata! Always put your behind in your past! I mean, Always put your past behind you!

Despite ADHD, or anything else, once #2 hits adulthood, he'll have to be responsible for his own decisions. From watching other kids with ADD and ADHD, I've noticed that with maturity, and added responsibility, comes a relative level of stability. Let's hope this is the case for your boy.

Please stop being so hard on yourself, OK? It really doesn't make anything better. I know this from my own experience.

captain corky said...

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I think that you're being way to hard on yourself Flake. I hope you feel better soon. ;)

~JJ! said...

Your wonderings sound a whole helluva lot like some of mine!!!!


Hope you are sorting some stuff out.

Marni said...

I can sooo relate to your ADHD issues and worries. J-man has it, too, and I am constant worried about his future. He's a good kid, but LORD does he need help keeping his head on straight.

And I need help so i won't KILL him!

Burfica said...

would a big giant hug help???

cuz I got one for ya.

And remember, no matter how much wondering you do, make sure you have on clean socks and underwear. ehheheheee

julia said...

Hey - my mom has ADD, certainly was never diagnosed with it but has managed to have a wonderful, responsible life. I often feel like I'm reaching a hand to dart out and stop her from doing something rash, but ultimately she has a wide group of friends who love her for the exciting, vivacious, creative woman she is. So things do work out. She can't listen to a long sentence in conversation without blurting something of her own that has nothing to do with what I was talking about, but you can't have everything.

Biddie said...

That's a lot of wondering.
I try to wonder about the mistakes that I made, or the other paths that I could have taken.
Honestly, I have made sooo many mistakes, I lost count.
I try to think of it like this:
If I would not have taken the path that I did, I might not have my 3 wonderful kids, my Shawn, or some of the friends that I have. I would not trade any of the special people in my life for ANYTHING.
I know that you feel the same way too about your kids.
Big hugs, Flake.

Miranda said...

I wonder alot too....but hang in there. Eventually we will get it....or will we?

((((BIG HUGS)))

Alekx said...

The elf has ADHD, he wasn't told he had it until about 1 year ago. He's a sucessful computer programmer. He sometimes makes bad choices and realizes later that it was bad, then he wonders why he didn't listen to me in the first place. But it's just a march through life, that we all must make.

MomThatsNuts said...

you know, the troll~ings do NOT have ADHD, but they dont have their head on either. Wonder how much of it is just BOYS or TEENAGERS??? I dont put a whole lot of stock into it, but I heard on the Oprah show once (I think Maya Angelou said it originally) When you KNOW better, you DO better...I learn something everyday!
Hang in there, your not alone that is FOR SURE

Mom

Maureen said...

Hope you can sort out your wonderings... but sometimes you just have to sit back and realize we are not in control of everything we wish we were. Remembering we are human and we all make human errors is a part of life. Hope you are free of anxiety and enjoy the sweet things in life real soon. Take care.

Dorky Dad said...

It's hard to be momma bear because it if were easy then we'd all be brainless morons rather than the complex beings were are.

I can't remember what I was going to write for the rest of them. But good post!

Zibi said...

Hang in there dear.

captain corky said...

You OK? Happy Hallowen. :)

Biddie said...

I'm wondering if you are ok and coming back soon?????????

Palm Springs Savant said...

Deep thoughts Flake, but do not despair. Always look at the bright side of life whenever possible. Hang in there, tomorrow is a new day!

jAMiE said...

Lots of deep thoughts there...hugs!

Phoenix5 said...

Like Biddie, I am wondering where you went to, and if you are coming back! I miss you, my friend! Hope to see you posting again soon!

Miranda said...

Hopes you're ok. (((Big hug))) we're all here for you.

Kateastrophe said...

I have a brother with severe ADHD, and I'm not gonna lie, his teenage years were hard for everyone, but he has come out of them beautifully and is one of the most amazing people I've ever encountered in my life. I've heard that as the child gets older, the ADHD becomes less overpowering and easier to control. You are a great Mom and he will come through it just great.