Thursday, September 20, 2007

GERMS, GERMS EVERYWHERE AND NOT A BRAIN CELL TO SPARE

Well we have survived the week...sooooo farrrrrrr....lol

Having the gremlins home all week sick has been soooooo much fun..lol. The antibiotics are kicking in and they are starting to show signs of life at least...thank god for that...

I just told gremlin #2 to get back into his night-time routine because he IS going to school tomorrow whether he wants to go or not...because I can't take another day with him at home...lmao. Seriously, he is well enough to brave the world again I think..so I will be shoving him out the door. As for gremlin #1, we are still in "wait and see mode"...she is better than she was but still had a fever today...and I don't wanna mess around and prolong this fun-filled shit...lol.

Anyway, I am off to rest up...I am getting way too old for this shit...so I think I will go to bed and watch the premiere of Survivor...I sooooooooooo can't wait...lol.

Thought I would share this email I received the other day...I think it should be titled "THINGS THAT MAKE YA GO DUHHHHHH"...LOL


TOP 7 IDIOTS OF 2006

Number 1 Idiot of 2006

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away

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Number Two Idiot of 2006

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and taking it home. Shortly after that, they took it for a float on the river. Soon after that, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.
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Number Three Idiot of 2006

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote this. "Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling error that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK " and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

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Number Four Idiot of 2006

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.
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Number Five Idiot of 2006

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
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Idiot Number Six of 2006

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
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Idiot Number Seven of 2006

Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape. This took place in Arkansas.


As always, to be continued................



5 comments:

Phoenix5 said...

I loved these, Flake! A friend of mine used to send me the "Darwin Awards" every year. Those are a lot of fun too.

I have a video clip of a robbery similar to the last one in your post... it has two... never mind, next time I see you online, I'll IM it to you. It's hilarious!

Hammer said...

Criminals are dumb by default due to their career choice.

Biddie said...

LOL. That was great. I love the stupid criminals stories.

Glad that the kids are starting to feel better :)

Burfica said...

I'm glad the kids are feeling a bit better.

I hate it when they are sick.

Palm Springs Savant said...

Flake- these are so funny. I just love the stupidity of people, especially dumb criminals