Tuesday, September 4, 2007

BACK TO REAL LIFE



Hello all...I hope this finds you all well. I do not know where the last 11 days went but holidays are gone and we return to real life today. The gnome headed back to work this morning and it is the first day of gremlin school today so I am out of sorts and at odds.


It is so quiet here it is creepy...and I just don't know what to do with myself. It was a very odd weekend...the kids were so hyper and worked up about going back to school and my nerves added into the mix just made things crazy. To make the morning even more insane, gremlin#2's bus forgot to stop and pick him up so we had to run him to school ourselves...


What would life be without a crazy first day of school...


I will post more another day about why this school year is bothering me so much...but I just can't do it today...so wanted to share a funny with you all instead...



Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until , one day, he comes across a Harley with a for sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.


He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. "Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain." And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.



That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in." "When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."


"No problem," he says.. And in they go.


Joe is shocked ! Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.


They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word.


So he reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word.


So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents.


His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.


He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks . So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her right there on the dinner table.


Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.


All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.



Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, that's enough, I'll do the dishes!"



Hee hee hee.....


Have a great Tuesday all...at least Big Brother is on tonight...


As always, to be continued..............

8 comments:

captain corky said...

Enjoy yourself for a second Flake. Take a deep breath and maybe make yourself a cup of tea or coffee. You deserve it!

Burfica said...

I fell out of my chair reading that funny. hehehehe

Breath baby breath. It will be better tomorrow. And the next day and next.

Biddie said...

Yup, deep breaths.
Deep.
There you go. Feel better yet?

I'm all alone today, too, and it is creepy. Of course the creep factor is increased by the fact that we live in a haunted house and I could hear the ghost-girl playing upstairs this morning.
*shudders*

Thanks for the laugh. Can always use one on the 1st day of school.

Hammer said...

good one!

Phoenix5 said...

Home alone! Yep! Me too! I'm loving every second of it! It won't last long... I'll get about 1.5 hours of alone time then my girls will come home and want to talk my ear off...lol.

That joke was hilarious! I like the way Joe thinks... *evil grin*

Have a great week, Flake!

Canadian flake said...

thank you all for your kind words and support. It means a great deal to me as always.

Glad y'all enjoyed the funny...lol.

p.s phoenix - enjoy the silence...I am sure I will once I get used to being alone again.

biddie - man oh man I am glad I don't have to deal with ghosts. 2 gremlins and a nutty gnome are enough for me..lmao

thanks again ev1

MomThatsNuts said...

School, yes I am having mixed emotions about school too. Cadet is a senior and QTroll~ing is starting Jr High,,,Im no spring chicken anymore DAMMIT

Mom

Canadian flake said...

mom- man oh man can I relate..grrrrrr why can't we get younger instead of OLD..lol