Friday, November 16, 2007

NO HUGS AND KISSES.....

Disclaimer: Please be warned there is a story below that is neither funny nor entertaining......

There once was a little girl who was born to a fairly big family. She had 3 sisters and 1 brother. This little girl grew up knowing very little love...a great deal of fear...and eventually terror and betrayal.

When growing up, the only day of the year that this little girl was happy was Christmas day. It was the only day that she knew her father would be nice to her and wouldn't spend the day screaming at her.

As she grew up, her mother's way of dealing with mistakes was to slap first...ask questions later. Because this little girl was far from perfect that meant she was slapped around and yelled at a LOT.

This little girl grew up asking herself WHY a lot...

why did she have 2 parents that made 5 babies and didn't bother to tell any of them that they were loved....

why did the father of this little girl pick her to be the one he would hurt and violate in a way that would give her nightmares for years and scar her forever......

why did her own brother and sisters feel the need to call her the "human garbage can" because food was the only thing in her life that gave her comfort and made her feel better.....

and the biggest why of all....why she went through her entire childhood (and longer) without one single person EVER telling her that they believed in her...that they supported her...or simply that they loved her.....

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time....I would hold this little girl, comfort her and tell her she wasn't alone...I would tell her I love her and believe in her..that she is stronger than she thinks and she isn't alone...

I would tell her NOT to listen to them ...that she ISN'T worthless and that she CAN make something of her life....

I think there are few things worse when you are a child to feel alone and unloved.......to suffer and know that no one cares enough to protect you is sadder still...


As always, to be continued...........



14 comments:

MomThatsNuts said...

I hate that. The only thing to be done is cry when crying feels good, and yell when the yelling feels good, and then be still and love and care...

Mom

Phoenix5 said...

I know a "virtual" or "cyber" hug won't make up for all those missing ones, but I'm sending you a great big one anyways. We love you, my dear friend!

Sunshine said...

I wish the "now" me could talk to the "then" me a lot....I know what you mean.
It takes a long time to realize that sometimes, we just don't deserve the parents we're given, and that things weren't our fault.
I got there, it wasn't until after college, but I did. I hope you have too.

Burfica said...

I love you very much, I try to make sure I tell you at least once a day. Cuz you know I grew up never hearing it also.

I so support you sweetie, you are one of my hero's. Just for being you. Nobody else but wonderful you.

~JJ! said...

Oh little girl. No one should ever be treated that way.

Big, giant hugs.

whatevergirl said...

I have always wondered why children have to suffer.
Hugs to you.
God loves you.

Biddie said...

Hugs xx

Palm Springs Savant said...

that is the scourge of this nation. Child abuse in any fashion is unforgiveable.

Thanks for sharing this and raising awareness.

jAMiE said...

Hugs...huge hugs. You are not alone anymore!

Zibi said...

Just stopped by to say hello ...

Maureen said...

I wish I could do more than send you hugs too... I think the only thing you can do is realize you can't change the past, only the future. Ensure your kids get the love they so deserve and hopefully future generations will never have to endure what you have, so bravely.

captain corky said...

There are some sick fucks in this world. It's a good thing that I can tell you how much I care about you now. ;) Hang in there kid.

Goofball said...

I hope this was not a personal testimony as no little girl ever should grow up like that. it breaks my heart.

I hope that if I ever meet a little girl like that, that I will feel her need for love and that I'll recognise her loneliness, so that I can give her a big big warm hug.

Canadian flake said...

Thanks everyone for the kind words...unfortunately goofball YES this was my life..

more to follow another time..