Saturday, November 10, 2007

RAMBLINGS FROM A MAD WOMAN WHO NEEDS DRUGS

Yesterday was one of those days where the only good thing I can say about it is THANK GOD it is over. I honestly do not know how I got through the day without killing the gnome and gremlins...I don't think I would have even cared enough to hide the bodies because no court in the world would have convicted me...trust me it WOULD have been justifiable homicide...lmao.

I apologize for my last post...but those were the only words my brain would allow me to type...but I am calmer today (with a wicked headache from all the screaming and crying I did yesterday).

Things have been stressful here lately...my work in not treating me at all well and keep cutting my hours. Everytime I think I know how bad it is gonna get, they cut me even more (next week I have 6 hrs). I hate the job so it isn't like I miss working there...but I live in a very small town with ZERO job opportunities and I am sorta screwed in that department...

To increase my stress level, I broke a tooth and lost the filling on Wednesday. I got an appointment with the dentist immediately, thinking that if I got it fixed now, the tooth wouldn't absess and it would be cheaper and less painful. Oh yeah, smart thinking flake...I should have known better. I got the filling ok... $235 later. The problem with this is that my paycheck was a whopping $241..so $6 left to feed us all for a week(oh righttttttt that money went to the tylenol )...

I tried to convince the dentist's office to let me pay half this week and half next week, but of course they HAD to be peckerheads about it...why should THEY care that I have 2 gremlins and no money to feed them for the week.

To make the day complete, the gnome and I decide we have to spend the day fighting. I told him I wouldn't go get the tooth fixed if the money was that big of a deal and he proceeded to be a COMPLETE asshole...said some very hurtful things ( I admit I struck back with some nasty words of my own..not our finest hour).

Well the day progressed and I tried to get myself under control and out of my bad mood. Dear gremlin #1 came home from school in a fairly decent mood so that helped..she can really be a great kid when she chooses to be. THEN comes gremlin #2 and the fun begins all over again.

He was supposed to be going to a special play and they hadn't allowed him to go. At first, he tried to lie and tell me he just had work to catch up on. Of course I have been around the school yard a time or two, so I grabbed the phone and called his school. As soon as he knew he was gonna be busted, he spilled the beans. It seems they had an assembly and he was so badly behaved they had to remove him and send him to talk to the principal. Instead of apologizing, he proceeded to mouth off to the principal...my god when my gremlin fucks up, he sure as hell does it in a big way!!

Well, of course I freaked on his head and took away his TV and computer privileges...gotta hit em where they hurt ya know...

Next gremlin#1 decides to take her shot at me and turn into a she-devil. Suddenly every time I asked her to do something, she snapped and grumped at me. She got so rude that I finally got her face (so close our noses were touching) and reminded her that I brought her into this world and I sure as HELL can take her out...

At this point I was thinking they were all plotting to drive me to the funny farm . All I could think was that if they had just asked me in the first place, I would have just asked them how soon can we leave?? lol.

Of course, the day would have not been complete without another big blow up with the gnome about my shitty job and lack of hours. We screamed and yelled pretty good ....we can sure be shitheads to each other when we chose to be....

This morning, I awoke to a cold and sunny day...in a great deal of pain. I am determined to make today a better day...I find it hard to believe I could make it much worse...(yeah I know it can always be worse, but I don't even wanna think about that now)

To put the icing on the cake, when gremlin #1 came down to get some breakfast, I went to give him his meds (for his ADHD) and realize that we fucking FORGOT to give him his fucking pills yesterday,....that doesn't excuse his bad behaviour but it sure as hell didn't help...I apologized and told him I would call the school Monday and let them know what happened....

Did I mention I am the suckiest ,shittiest Mom ever???

As always, to be continued.........

9 comments:

whatevergirl said...

I just read Marni's post which was so similar to yours.
My question is: Why do moms heap the guilt on themselves when everyone has a bad day??? We act like we are totally responsible for everyone else's behavior which is completely mad!!! You don't see dear ol dad sitting around feeling like a shitty dad and hubby because the kids have lost it and you are in a bad mood. WHY do we do that to ourselves???
Sorry about your dental nightmare...I have to have a crown done soon..$519!!!!!!!!! Oh, but they allow it in 2 payments-gee thanks, THAT really helps!

Hammer said...

That is a day from hell.

Sorry you had to endure that.

One morning my son coughed up his pill and didn't tell me.

The school called and wanted to know what the happened to him.

He finally confessed but we had to go get him. It was a jekyll and hyde thing.

Burfica said...

Oh my gosh!! That is one of those days you want to burry, burn, and piss on all to forget it ever happened. I'm so sorry hun. I hope the rest of this weekend goes much better.

Maureen said...

....no you're not. You're human. Hope things get better.

jAMiE said...

I agree with Maureen, you are human...here's to better days. Hugs!

Herman Verbrugge said...

I stop by for the first time just to tell you that your profile picture is so cute. Poor little doggie he feels so guilty. Is it yours?

Marni said...

Why don't you call me sometime and we can vent together. Seems like we are both going thru the same things.

Hugs to you... it WILL get better. It has to!!!!!!!!

Kateastrophe said...

Darlin' you're not the worst Mom ever! You're doing a great job! Everyone has bad days, everyone struggles. You love your family and that's what's important.

hang in there. It always gets better!

Phoenix5 said...

Easy on the self-recriminations, Flake! Everybody has a bad day now and then. The fact that you're in a lot of pain doesn't help either. I know when I get my migraines, I can be a total S.O.B. to anyone who looks at me wrong. Pain takes away all of our tolerance for other people's crap. I hope today went better for you!