HAPPY BIRTHDAY GREMLIN # 2

Sorry about the interruption of Survivor Friday...but for me, the following post was more important... I will, however say that last night's show was interesting.....I think when they did the switch, they screwed over the people that had to go to a new tribe...and I was hoping Sherea would be gone..oh well, guess that's what next week is for...lol.

Today is my baby gremlin's birthday and he is 13. I have been quiet this week on my blog because honestly, his birthday has been bothering me. It isn't just that he is now a teenager, although that alone is enough to give me nightmares...lol.

What bothers me is I feel like somehow today is a threshold...that he will step over that barrier ...out into the world and I won't be able to protect him anymore...

OK OK I admit that sounds melodramatic...but it is honestly how I am feeling....

Gremlin #2 has never been an easy child. He was an exercise in patience from that very first day when he REFUSED to join us in the real world (they finally gave up after 24 hrs of labour and did a C-section).

He didn't want to learn how to crawl...he was stubborn about learning how to walk and he absolutely REFUSED to use the potty like a big boy...so much so that he missed his first year of preschool.. He has severe ADHD and school has been one battle after the next...there has never been anything easy about it...

But through it all...he has been my baby...as much as he has made me want to strangle him daily, I have ALWAYS been his protector...no one has been allowed to hurt my gremlins..so it is a hard lesson to learn...how to let go...let them fall and pick themselves up...

Of course, every parent has this fear but gremlin #2 has had so much stacked against him...a loser father that has hurt him time and time again....struggling and clawing just to learn how to read and being reminded by the school that he will never be good enough...honestly, sometimes I don't know how he gets out of bed in the morning...oh wait, yeah I do...I kick his ass outta bed..lol.

So today I sit here looking back at the last 13 years and looking ahead...and both make me feel happy and sad in equal measure. Sad because he isn't my baby anymore...he has a long hard road ahead of him if he is to have what others take for granted...the ability to find a job and take care of himself as an adult (I worry often about what will happen when I am not here to take care of him). At the same time, I am happy today...happy that we have survived 13 years (thanks to some great meds...hee hee)...and happy that I was given this gremlin to love and watch over...

TO MY DEAR GREMLIN: you are my son and you always will be...God gave you to me because He knew that I needed you to make my heart complete. I will remind you now of the words that I have told you since you were a little baby...no matter what happens I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!!! My love for you has no limitations , no boundaries and nothing will ever change that. Even when you are grown, you will always be my baby gremlin.....love, Mommy

As always, to be continued............