Sunday, September 30, 2007


Welcome all to another week of has been a crazy weekend and I will post more about that later in the week...

Remember to stop by and visit brillig and kate, they are the master minds behind this wonderful addiction known as Their tails are always worth the travel time to get to their blog... For anyone who didn't read it, here is part one of today's continuing saga

When last we spoke, T (my twin sister) and I had just met Max the dreamboat....

I look back now and can see what an odd situation we got ourselves into, but it didn't even strike me as strange at the time. Pam, Max, T and I quickly became a foursome that went and did everything together. We hung out together constantly...swam together all the time and whenever Max invited Pam to the movies, he invited T and I to tag along..

Now I can see with hindsight that this must have been terribly frustrating for Pam...after all Max was her boyfriend and I don't think she got more than 5 minutes alone with him on almost every date they had together.

After a month or so of this, Pam called me late one afternoon to talk. She was starting to wonder if maybe Max was not interested in her anymore and wanted to know if he confided in me....I assured her that he hadn't told me anything like that but that I would talk to him if she wanted...remember we were teenagers (about 14 yrs old) at the time so sometimes the indirect method of communication was thought to be more effective. I told Pam to hang in there and not get too upset until we had a better idea of what was going on in Max's mind.

We were supposed to be going to a carnival together the next day. Pam and I devised a plan where she would suggest meeting Max at our house then she would be a little late...thus giving me time to find out how Max felt about her.

As I stood outside with Max the next day, I took a deep breath and summoned the courage to ask him what his intentions were toward Pam but I just couldn't do it..luckily Max broke the conversational ice and started to ask me questions...what classes did T and I plan to take the next year in school..... what time of day did T and I start our paper route...did T or I have a boyfriend at the time...

I was so glad that he had taken the lead in the conversation and so happy to have him all to myself for even a few minutes that I didn't even clue in that all of his questions were about T and I and were a little odd... he didn't even mention Pam once...

I toiled and tossed different ways to bring the subject of Pam into the conversation...but just as I was about to pounce, T came strolling out the door and a few minutes later Pam turned the corner and off we went..... Pam let T and Max walk on ahead together because she wanted to know what I found out...I didn't have the heart to tell her I had chickened out so I told her that I hadn't found out anything really but I would try again later, if the opportunity arose, and I would let her know.
I suggested that she just tried to relax and have fun because Max seemed normal (and wonderful) to me...

We all had a great time at the carnival. Both T and Pam were chickens when it came to the crazy rides there was so Max and I rode while the two of them watched. Of course, I was in heaven. It was perfect because I got to have Max all to myself but the rides were so whirly and twirly that I didn't have to make conversation...all our energy went into screaming and laughing was such a blast.

When it was time to leave, Max said that he and Pam were going to head off and walk home because they wanted some "alone" time. Pam looked shocked but thrilled as Max took her hand and led her off. T and I waved as they left and then headed home. I missed walking home with Max but I was happy for Pam. Obviously she had just overreacted and things were good between her and Max which was great for her...but again not so good for me.

It wasn't that I ever allowed myself to think I had a chance with Max...I knew he was WAY out of my league...but I loved to daydream about him the way you would dream about meeting a rockstar or falling in love with some gorgeous actor...your mind knows it will never happen, but you still can't help letting it wonder and think "what iffffffffff"

Later that evening, Pam called and was crying hysterically. It seems that dear Max had asked for alone time so that he could dump Pam. Apparently, he reassured her it was nothing she had done wrong simply that they were growing apart. Poor Pam was crushed and I felt helpless without words to make her feel any better at all. After some yelling and many shed tears(by Pam) Max finally admitted that he had fallen for someone else and felt it only fair to end things now.

Of course, Pam's mind was whirling.....asking herself all the questions that a person thinks when they have been dumped without did this happen?? why didn't I see this coming?? Who could he have met?? What has she got that I don't have?? etc etc etc.....

After I hung up with Pam, I went to tell T what had happened . I didn't ask if she had known anything about Max's plans, I assumed that had she known she would have told me what was coming.

If someone had told me what was gonna happen next, I would NEVER have believed it ....never!!!!!

As always, to be continued (next

Friday, September 28, 2007


Welcome to Survivor friday....hope you all enjoyed the show last night.

I am not sure what I think of this survivor far it has gotten off to a sorta blahhhhhhh start for me but the diehard Survivor fan in me still has hope.

Am I the only one that is reminded of the survivor season that happened in 2005 where one tribe was totally useless and lost challenge after challenge until there was only Stephenie (LaGrossa) left to go to the other tribe at the "merge"??

I think the yellow tribe last night made a HUGE mistake voting off Ashley. Yes she has a big mouth and was sick for the first couple of days...but Dave is a bossy pain in the ass who stood there looking stupid when he got tired in the immunity challenge...what a "tool" he is ( Ashley's words after she got voted

Last night's show reminded me what a butthead my dear gnome can be at times. We often have a lively debate over who should get voted off and who is "playing the game" the best. I can totally accept that we don't agree about why someone gets voted off while a jerk gets to stay...but last night the gnome was a total tool...

He is a huge wrestling fan, so without even seeing the show he said he isn't going to watch any more episodes and doesn't even want to hear about them because Ashley got the ol' heave ho...he reminded me of a 2 yr old that wants to run home with all his toys because he doesn't want to

The point I tried to make to him was this...YES I agree she is physically strong and would probably have been an asset in future challenges...BUT you can't just shoot your mouth off at the self proclaimed leader, pick a fight with him and then not expect him to come after you... I agree this might not be "fair" but who the hell EVER said the game WAS ... the gnome was being a stubborn shit and didn't even I just told him it was fine but don't think I won't be watching because I will!!!

I am not too worried about having to listen to Dave much longer...I think that yellow tribe will continue to lose and will get picked off one by one ...the up side to this is once the merge comes and there are only red tribe members left, we get to watch them turn on each other...then things should get interesting...lmao.

See ya next week for more Survivor dish........

As always, to be continued.............

Wednesday, September 26, 2007


Well holyyyyyy cow I can finally post again...I have tried multiple times to post in the last 2 days and blogger has been a total shithead ...and I thought my gremlins were stubborn and ornery..lmaooooo.

It wasn't enough to not let me post...ohhhhhhh nooooo blogger wouldn't let me comment on anyone's blog either...sooooo all I can say is grrrrrrrr to

Hope you all are doing is a funny that I got the other day from my Uncle of all


A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks,

"What are these, Dad? To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms,son. Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. Yes,I've heard of that in health class at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?

"The dad replies,"Those are for high school boys, ONE for Friday, ONE for Saturday, and ONE for Sunday."
"Cool" says the boy.

He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday,and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack!

With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for the married men. ONE for January, ONE for February, ONE for March....etc."

hee hee hee

As always, to be continued.............

Monday, September 24, 2007


The only word that comes to mind to describe the last week is wooooooooooshhhhhhhhhh....I honestly don't know where the time has gone...

The gremlins are finally better and back in to the school routine...just in time for a short week at school.. since they both came home today and announced that there is no school on

I have to admit I have missed reading your blogs and keeping up with the blogsphere this last week or so...but with them being sick, I have hardly been online...when I had the energy, I didn't have the time and when I had the time, I didn't have the energy...parents of sick kids everywhere know what I am saying..lmao.

I will be back and lurking and commenting again over the next few don't be surprised if you see 4 or 5 comments from me at once...I like to read back, catch up and see what I have missed with y'all....

take care and have a great week...

As always, to be continued..................

Sunday, September 23, 2007


Well I am back for another round of SOS..please check out brillig and Kate ...their SOS stories tend to put mine to shame and they have links for others who are playing and having check em out....

I remember clearly the day I first met Max (remember names changed to protect the innocent and my

A group of friends were going to go to a movie. One of my best friends through public school was a gal named Pam. We grew up together and spent a lot of time together, mostly at her house. I loved her family and was secretly jealous of the home life she had, since mine was so terrible ...but I am rambling...

This particular fall Saturday, we all decided to meet at the mall and go to the movies from there. My twin sister and I were the first to arrive but after a few minutes the rest of the gang started to show. Pam was the last to get there and when she arrived she wasn't alone. She was walking along, holding hands with HIM....

He was tall, dark and so handsome. I had serious problems remembering to breathe at that moment and the fact that he was holding HER hand didn't even register in my brain for some reason..... While Pam introduced Max, I hid in the back of the crowd, wanting desperately to get a closer look yet too shy and shaken to move closer.

As we all headed over to the theatre, Pam explained that she and Max had only just recently started seeing each other,which explained why she hadn't mentioned him to any of us. The thing I remember the most about that day was that I couldn't keep my eyes off him...I think I spent more time looking at him than watching the movie....and to this day I still remember exactly what he looked like that day with the sun making his wavy hair shine ...omgggg I soooo wanted to be able to run my fingers through that

After the movie, we all said bye and went our separate ways but Pam lived just up the road from us so my sister and I walked with Pam and Max. As the three of them chatted, I fell behind a bit and listened as so often happened...I never felt comfortable...I never belonged...I was part of the gang because they all liked my sister and when you are twins,they don't take one without the other...

I remained quiet and observed the 3 of them but all my thoughts centered around cute he good he just looking at him made me feel like I had a big bubble inside me ready to escape and float away...

I should have heard bells going off in my head...telling me to run, NOT walk ,but run away as this could only end in heart ache for me...after all ,Pam was alot thinner and prettier than me....and there was no way he would ever give me a second thought...

I look back now and see all the signs of inpending doom...of the troubled path the four of us were about to travel down....but then I was young , nieve and blinded by hormones and puppy love.... If only I could have seen the trouble we were all in for.......the misery that was coming my way.....

**cue Donny Osmond singing Puppy Love***

As always, to be continued................

Saturday, September 22, 2007


One of the best parts of the fall rolling around (other than gremlins going back to school is the start of the fall premieres of all my favourite shows. The gnome and I were talking about it the other day, and we both said that we haven't seen a lot of ads for new shows starting this fall...but that is ok, because we have enough shows that we enjoy that we are already fighting for TV

I decided to investigate and see what the major networks in this area had to offer and the following is the list of shows I am looking forward to seeing in the upcoming weeks:

CBS - 1) Survivor China - this is no shock to anyone that reads my blog..'nuff

2) CSI Miami- no one can beat Hiratio...what a hottie...I have enjoyed CSI before also...but sorta got away from it when they decided to bury Nick alive...was tooo much for me....lmao.

3)Without a Trace - I love this show and think Jack Malone is pretty cool...or he just escaped from the mafia..lmao.

4) Shark - James Woods is AMAZING in this show...and Jerri Ryan is a great counterpart (of course she will always be Seven of Nine to me...right Corky??)

5)Criminal Minds - I have enjoyed this show although it is more than a bit graphic at times. I wonder if it will survive now that Mandy Patankin has left. He and Thomas Gibson( Hotchner) were great together...even better than when they were in Chicago Hope together. He will surely be missed.

NBC - 1) Bionic Woman - I am old enough to remember the original series and I loved it. I will be interested to see if the new series is any good...not too sure but I will be checking it out.

2) ER - I have been a loyal fan since this show premiered...I cried when Mark died....laughed and smiled when Luka and Abby got married...held my breath when Carol's twins were born and she almost died...can't wait to see what comes next.

3)Medium - love this show...looking forward to more...but I missed a few episodes last season because the fucktards at NBC couldn't make up their mind on a time slot...hopefully they will leave it alone this

ABC - 1) Dancing with the Stars - I only REALLY got into this show last season. I watched it a bit the year before when Emmet won but really enjoyed last year and can't wait to see it on Monday.

2) AFV - this is always hilarious....'nuff said.

3)Extreme Makeover home edition - this show almost always makes me cry...and gives me hope too ,most shows.

FOX - honestly I checked out their website and there is nothing at all that tempts me to flick that guess they won't be seeing me anytime soon.

RERUNS - gotta loveeeeeee the reruns...especially old episodes of The OC and 90210 ...loved them both and they are just as good the 2nd time around( and Star Trek too...but that goes without saying, eh Corky?? LOL)

So..what do you think?? What shows are y'all looking forward to watching??

I admit we watch too much TV here..but anyone that thinks this is wrong should come live through a long Canadian winter and I bet they would be singing a different tune...lmao.

Happy viewing all...

As always, to be continued....................

Friday, September 21, 2007


Welcome all to our very first Survivor Friday...I look forward to many more through this Survivor season...

It seems that it is oddly appropriate that THIS week would be the start of Survivor since this week has been a lesson in survival...

The gremlins FINALLY went back to school today after missing all week...and I can't tell you how much I am enjoying the peace and

Gremlin #2 gave me a bit of a hard time about going but #1 jumped out of bed and ASKED to please which I quickly responded "how fast can ya be ready to leave..." lmaooooo.

Now to the business at hand.....

I have been looking forward to Survivor starting...especially now that BB is over for the year and last night's show didn't disappoint....

As always, the scenery was beautiful...I found it interesting that right away the survivors had to go into a temple to visit dear buddha. Even though Jeff said it wasn't a religious thing, it sure as hell looked like it to me... It is no skin off my nose if it was, but I found it interesting that Jeff felt he needed to "call out" the gal that wouldn't bow to buddha because she said she was a christian. I said to the gnome "hell they had that season where they split ev1 up by race...hope the hell they aren't focusing this year on religion"..... I love this show, but I wonder if CBS is pushing it a bit with this...guess time will tell...

I was in a LOT of pain last night so took pain pills and dozed off for a few minutes in the middle of the show. I missed the immunity challenge. (that should tell ya the pain I was miss a minute of the show...lmao). I woke back up and saw the end of the show. Both the gnome and I were glad to see that chicken guy get voted off...he was a mouthy pain in the ass and we clapped when they gave him the ol heaveeee

What do y'all think?? Any early predictions about the winner?? Tune in next week folks.........

As always, to be continued...................

Thursday, September 20, 2007


Well we have survived the week...sooooo

Having the gremlins home all week sick has been soooooo much The antibiotics are kicking in and they are starting to show signs of life at least...thank god for that...

I just told gremlin #2 to get back into his night-time routine because he IS going to school tomorrow whether he wants to go or not...because I can't take another day with him at home...lmao. Seriously, he is well enough to brave the world again I I will be shoving him out the door. As for gremlin #1, we are still in "wait and see mode"...she is better than she was but still had a fever today...and I don't wanna mess around and prolong this fun-filled

Anyway, I am off to rest up...I am getting way too old for this I think I will go to bed and watch the premiere of Survivor...I sooooooooooo can't

Thought I would share this email I received the other day...I think it should be titled "THINGS THAT MAKE YA GO DUHHHHHH"...LOL


Number 1 Idiot of 2006

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away


Number Two Idiot of 2006

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and taking it home. Shortly after that, they took it for a float on the river. Soon after that, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Number Three Idiot of 2006

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote this. "Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling error that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK " and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.


Number Four Idiot of 2006

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.

Number Five Idiot of 2006

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

Idiot Number Six of 2006

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

Idiot Number Seven of 2006

Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape. This took place in Arkansas.

As always, to be continued................

Wednesday, September 19, 2007


I am sad to say good bye to another season of big brother...but wtggggggggggg to DICK ... WINNER OF BB8

I am sooooooo glad he won....I honestly think he played the better game of the Donatos....

I laughed my ass off while watching the finale when they revealed the twist of america's player.... the gnome and I have been having a debate about this...I think Jessica will be really pissed and tell him to go take a flying leap now that she knows the truth...the gnome thinks she will be fine with it and will just think it is funny...I think he is nuts...but guess we will never know....lmao.

I think this was the best season yet of BB.....both twists were fantastic and worked well...who would have thought that a father-daughter combo could have gone all the way to the finals...and Eric did an awesome job as America's player...even when America tried to screw with him by telling him to get Jessica oh man I don't know how he pulled it off as well as he did...lmao.

It was a great summer of BB and I am sad to see it end...

I will miss Dick screaming at everyone...Eric scheming while Jessica says yeahhhhhhhhh.... Jamica talking about Amber being a model (yeah right).....Amber being a stupid cry baby...and Jenn being ..... well Jenn...

This summer was surely filled with characters and I will miss them all (well maybe not Jenn...or Amber)...

But love em or hate em...they surely gave us lots to talk about...and fight about sometimes..lmao..

Hope you enjoyed it all as much as I did...and hope that it will be back again next summer....

Tune in Friday for our first Survivor Friday...

Woooooohoooooooooo CBS thank you for feeding my reality addiction...lmaoooooooo...

As always, to be continued..................

Tuesday, September 18, 2007


Just a quick note before I go watch the finale of Big Brother. I have wanted to post about this show badly all day but life has gotten in the way...

My dear poor pain in the ass gremlins are sick!!

Gremlin #2 started looking funny Saturday and I kept commenting that he didn't look right. I kept asking him if he was feeling ok and told him he better not be getting So like any male with a penis, he had to do the exact opposite ..lmao.

Sunday morning the lil bugger woke up looking flushed and glossy eyed and by supper he had a pretty good fever going...with a sore throat...

I kept him home from school on Monday and sent gremlin #1 packing...shortly after noon I got a call from the school that #1 was really sick and needed me to come get her before she passed out. By the time we got her home, she too had that "flushed, glossy eye look" and was raging with a very high fever.

The two little devils have always been this way...ever since they were babies.... He starts to get sick and his fever slowly builds and builds...he is still just as sick but at least you can get the meds started right away and try to control things somewhat...

But ever since my dear girl was a baby gremlin...she has liked to make me She can start to feel a bit bad but it isn't really anything then WHAM all the sudden out of no where her fever is 104 the point of causing convulsions on one terribly scary night when she was an infant... My mom says I did the same kinda shit to payback is a bitch..nice eh???

Well luckily Nurse Mommy is here to save the day...I got them both in to the doctor today who said they both have an infected throat and gave us some anti biotics to hopefully knock the shit outta it...**cross fingers here**...

I did have a bit of a laugh while waiting to see the we were sitting in the office, I was beside gremlin #1 and she laid her head on my shoulder...I put my arm around her and let her snuggle in while we waited. Next to us, there was a little girl that looked to be about a year old and she was doing the same thing with her Mommy. I made ev1 in the room chuckle when I said "see?? no matter how old they get and no matter how much attitude they spew, when they get sick they ALWAYS come back to their Mommy"

Guess that is why I get the big bucks...

Off to watch BB now...will be here tomorrow with a wrap-up BB post...between tending the sick and badging....lmao

As always, to be continued.................

Monday, September 17, 2007



A friend sent this to me and it made me giggle so I thought I would share it...what do y'all think??? lmaooooo...






have a great week all...will be back tomorrow with some BB finale chatter...

As always, to be continued...............

Sunday, September 16, 2007


Hello everyone. Hope you had a great weekend.

I had planned to post for SOS but decided to put it off until next week after I read this.

Instead I want to ask you all a favour. On Friday, I mentioned my blogger friend Jamie. The favour is a simple one...please pray or send more good wishes her way. The news on Friday did not go well and I feel this young lady needs all the support and love she can get right now.

Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.....and please pass the word on if at all possible.

If anyone is so inclined to do so, I think it would be great if you could mention Jamie on your blog or link back to this post so we can pass the word.

You are a wonderful bunch of people.......I have seen first hand how much your words of encouragement and support can uplift and strengthen the soul...and if there ever was someone who needed the is Jamie...

Her fate is in God's hands...she knows that I am sure...I just thought that knowing she is being prayed for...thought of...and loved couldn't hurt and might comfort her in the time that I am sure isn't easy.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this...I know it might not seem like much but I surely appreciate it.

Jamie, you are in my thoughts and prayers forever....

As always, to be continued..................

Friday, September 14, 2007


For those of you who believe in the power of prayer, I would ask you to please take a moment to say a prayer for my blogger friend Jamie. She has been struggling with some MAJOR health issues and today is an important day for her, as she is supposed to learn today what they will do next. Stop by and give her a shout-out if you get a minute...thanks guys!!!

Jamie, please know that you are on my mind and in my heart today....and I am praying hard that today brings great news for you!!! Fingers and toes crossed here.......

Welcome one and all to our final big brother Friday....again I say that I don't know where the summer seems the older I get, the faster they go...but I digress...lmao.

All I can say about the show last night is ohhhhhhh my fucking god.. I was screaming at the TV and hopping around the room.

I will surely miss those Thursday night eviction shows. Thank you CBS for letting Survivor start next Thursday to ease my withdrawal pains...lmao.

I was soooooooooo excited to see Dick win the final HOH and kick that ass Zach to the curb. Zach became so pompous that I couldn't wait to see him eat his words....and he got what he deserved, in my mind anyway.

I think one of the most touching parts of last nights show was when Dick was upset about giving up in the first part of the HOH competition. Danielle was there trying to cheer him up and she told him she loves him. There have been many times this summer when she has busted Dick's balls over and over again so it was about time she showed some appreciation. Dick's entire game has been about her ...keeping HER in the house...and finally Danielle showed she has a heart....

I think this has been one of the best BB seasons to date. If you had told me on that first episode when Dick walked down the stairs that the Donato's would be the final 2 standing.....I would have told you to start selling that shit you were smokin because it was giving you

Dick and I have had a love-hate thing going on all summer. Dick is one of those guys that there is no middle either love him or hate him....and I have certainly done BOTH this summer.

Thanks for the great summer house has been a blast and I will miss you all.

**cue music ........."thanks for the memories"**

Stay tuned next week for the beginning of Survivor Fridays....

As always, to be continued......................

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Well we survived another week...can't WAIT for the final BB friday tomorrow. I am thinking tonight's show is gonna be a

Since I can bash men with the best of them...thought I would share this joke to show I am equal opportunity...enjoy!!!

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe pits, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket on his way out the door to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the young ladies shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man called back to her, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."

Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."...

Some old men can still think fast...........hee hee .

As always, to be continued................

Wednesday, September 12, 2007


Things this life has taught me :

Everything happens for a reason, even if you don't know what it is, there is a reason and purpose for every life event.

Trust your gut...even when EVERY thing or EVERY one tells you that you are acting like a nut...listen to that voice inside matter who tries to drown that voice out!!!

Teenagers ARE the universe's way of getting revenge for all the times you drove your parents crazy when you were growing up.

No matter how hard you try, gnomes do not have the ability to think logically. Even when they THINK they are making sense, it is only male gibberish (sorry guys..lmao).

Forgiveness is the most important gift you can give yourself. When someone hurts you in a way that could destroy your life, forgiving them can heal your soul in a very powerful way.

Tell those you love everyday that you love them. Always say the words...never just assume they know. Of course they know...but still tell them..they deserve to hear it..

No matter how many times (or how loudly) you tell a cat to shut up and stop meowing...when it is supper time she will NOT listen..lmaooooooooo.

You are a wonderful bunch of bloggers and I love you are very special!!!!!!

So says the flaky one...

As always, to be continued.................

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Today is a hard day for many people...a reminder that even the strongest lives can be snuffed out without warning.....

I am not an American but I watched that terrible day 6 years evil struck a blow and took so many innocent lives. I cried and prayed as did so many others all over the world.

I wanted so badly to reach grab the US ..hold her in my arms and protect her...let her know that somehow she would survive this treacherous act...

I am not a poet ...but the following is something that has come from my heart so I pass it a reminder of my love for you all....

It hardly seems possible
How fast time marches on,
It seems like just yesterday
where has the time gone?

The world surely changed that day
Things would never be the same
Many angels joined heaven that day
God knew them all by name

Too many lost souls,
More still were left behind
To wonder why it all happened that way,
Sad thoughts would fill our minds.

But from the ashes rose that day,
A spirit strong and true,
Evil will NOT win we said
There's so much we can do.

We will fight this evil forever more
With all our will and might,
Good will triumph, we will win,
We will continue to fight the fight!!

Dedicated to those who lost their lives on
September 11, 2001 and those brave souls that
have perished since then fighting so that
freedom will continue to reign.

You will never be forgotten!!!

God Bless America and us all...................

As always, to be continued...............

Monday, September 10, 2007


This joke was sent to me and I decided to pass it along...

F0r you Americans out there..substitute Newfoundland for Louisiana or Mississippi (hee hee hee)

Two Newfoundlanders

Bill and Tom are two Newfies working at the local sawmill. One day Bill slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw. Tom quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Bill to the local hospital.

Next day, Tom goes to the hospital and asks after Bill. The nurse says, 'Oh he's out in Rehab exercising'. Tom couldn't believe it, but here's Bill out the back exercising his now reattached arm. The very next day he's back at work in the saw mill.

Couple of days go by, and then Bill slips and severs his leg on another bloody big saw thing. So Tom puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Bill off to hospital.

Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is.
The nurse replies, 'He's out in the Rehab again exercising. And sure enough, here's Bill out there doing some serious work on the treadmill. And Bill comes back to work.

But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and severs his head. Wearily Tom puts the head in a plastic bag and transports it and Bill to hospital.

Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Bill is. The nurse breaks down and cries and says, 'He's dead.'

Tom is shocked, but not surprised. 'I suppose the saw finally did him in.' 'No,' says the nurse, 'Some dopey bastard put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated.'

As always, to be continued..........

Sunday, September 9, 2007


Hello all and welcome to another installment of SOS...I hated to miss last week and leave y'all hanging but holidays became overwhelming...and getting the gremlins ready for school of

It has been awhile so for those of you that want to review what happened or for newcomers check out the story of Bill -
part 1,part 2, part 3 , and part 4. Also, stop by to see brillig and kate...their SOS tales are more than worth the stop.

When last we spoke, I had just run away from Bill after a "ferris wheel" of a day and a rather forceful encounter....

After that night,I did as my life experiences had taught me to do....I hid. I went into my self protective shell and didn't let anyone in. I hid in my room and rarely went outside. I "licked my wounds" and wished so desperately I had someone to talk to. But I knew no one would understand...because to make them understand, I would have to devulge my secret and I wasn't prepared to do that yet.

After a few weeks, I got some perspective and was able to admit to myself that I had over-reacted. Slowly, my fear dissipated and I knew I had to face Bill...and to find some way of explaining what had happened. I wanted to see him so desperately heart ached for him.

I was still terribly unsure and afraid, so I decided my first step was to call him, thinking maybe it would be easier than facing him. After a few deep breaths, I worked up the courage and dialed his number...but he wasn't home. After a few more attempts that afternoon,I knew that I was not going to have any luck. Fate was not going to make this easy for me...but I was determined to make things right and give Bill the explanation he deserved.

The next day, I decided to take the bull by the horns and go see Bill. As I walked to his house, I was so nervous I couldn't stop shaking and thought I might even pass out....but somehow I made it. Unfortunately, when I arrived Bill wasn't home...although his very grumpy mother WAS there to greet me at the door...and it was plain that she was NOT impressed to see me on her doorstep. I summoned up all my strength and tried to at least LOOK confident while I asked her to please tell Bill I had stopped by to see him...and could she please ask Bill to call me when he got home.

I walked home feeling shaken and discouraged. It had taken every bit of courage I had to make myself go over there and I was really disappointed that I hadn't managed to see Bill..and to talk to him.

I remember waiting all night, hoping against hope that he would call. My friends invited me to go to the movies that night but I stayed home, not wanting to miss Bill's call . I waited for that call for 3 days before I finally admitted to myself that Bill was not going to call me...and who could blame him?? Bill didn't know anything about my demons...I am sure he thought I was just a tease or some kind of freak. I thought about just giving up...I considered it but decided Bill meant enough to me that I was going to give it one more shot.

My friend P called and said the gang was headed to a dance at one of the local schools. My first instincts were to tell her I couldn't go...but thought it might do me some good to get out and relax for the evening...I always have loved to dance and still do.

It was a nice night out...summer was winding down and there was a light breeze. As we walked along and joked, I could feel myself relaxing and was having a great time. By the time we arrived at the dance, I felt better than I had all week...and I felt a renewed sense of hope....that somehow everything was going to be ok.

There was a good turn out and everyone was glad to see each other...seeing those we hadn't see all summer...friends full of stories of their summer adventures..

The gym was dark as we entered and the music blared. Some of the group immediately started to dance...while the rest of us started to circulate around the room. P grabbed me and we started to dance in our goofy, nutty sorta way (although at the time I thought we were pretty

After awhile, the first slow song of the evening came on so we headed off the dance floor. As I stood there, watching the couples swaying and humming along with the music....I looked up and there he was.....Bill was up on the dance floor slow dancing .

I was filled with excitement and dread at the same time. I felt like someone had kicked me in the gut but had hope because Bill was here...and I could actually see him...and he still took my breath away. I waited nervously for the dance to end then followed Bill as he headed off the dance floor. I didn't know what I was going to say but I knew I had to see to him..and hopefully make him understand.

He wandered out of the gym with his dance partner and I followed, not giving myself time to reconsider or think about what I was doing.

When I reached the door, it took my eyes a few seconds to adjust and in that time Bill vanished. I had no idea which way he had gone. After a bit of searching, I began to panic that maybe he had left and I had again missed my chance to plead my case to him. I was feeling hot and flustered so I decided to go outside and get some fresh air. I knew there was a bench out there and thought I needed a few minutes of solitude to think about my next step.

I headed outside in my own stomach was full of butterflies and I wanted to see Bill again so badly. I wasn't paying attention as I rounded the corner or I might have seen what was coming a bit sooner.

As I looked up, I saw the darkness sitting on the bench making out ,were Bill and his dance partner. I just stood there frozen on the spot....I couldn't move or look away. I wanted to say scream at run away...but I couldn't seem to do any of those things. After a few seconds, which lasted a life time to me, they came up for air and saw me standing there.

Bill realized it was me and stood up immediately. He looked flustered and a little embarrassed . He introduced me to his girlfriend . As tears started to well up in my eyes, I turned and walked away. I didn't want them to see me crying but I was dying heart was broken.

I went inside and found P to tell her I was leaving . She saw what a mess I was and started to walk me home. Once I calmed down a bit, she admitted that she had seen them together a few days earlier and wondered if they were together.

I was devastated but did what I always did..I hid. I convinced myself that I deserved to be hurt...that I wasn't good enough for anyone to love me...and this had happened because of my I couldn't even bring myself to hate Bill. I knew it had all been my fault...I had pushed him away.

It wasn't too long after that school started. Luckily Bill was a year ahead of me and started high school so I didn't have to see him every day. Unfortunately, we both still played in a few orchestras together so I couldn't avoid him completely. Bill and his girlfriend stayed together for most of that year. Everytime I saw them together, it felt like someone stabbed me in the chest...but it lessened as time passed and life rolled on.

I still think of Bill often and he will always have a special place in my heart as the boy who gave me my first kiss and showed me that I COULD feel love...that is something I had seriously doubted until I met Bill, so he is still a special memory to me.

A funny side note, when the gnome and I were on our very first date...after a nice dinner, we headed to a local bar. There was a band playing and as the gnome and I danced, I looked up and guess who the drummer of the band was ....BILL!!! I kid you not. When the band had a break, Bill came and sat with us and I introduced him to the gnome and explained it was our first date.....then told the gnome that Bill was my first boyfriend...luckily the gnome wasn't the jealous It might have something to do with the fact that Bill and I spent the entire conversation talking about our kids...lmao. It was still good to see him and have a good chuckle.

Thanks for the walk down memory lane. This has been a hard story to write because some of the emotions it stirred up are still raw (about my childhood hell not I hope y'all didn't think it was too dorky...lmao.

See ya next SOS....

As always, to be continued...............

Saturday, September 8, 2007


HOLY MACANAWWWWWWW... what a week!!!

The gremlins and I have survived the first week of school...barely. Luckily for a few of the teachers, I picked up a nasty cold so I didn't have the energy to go visit them with an ice pick (although I WAS very tempted). I must say that I did, however ,call the high school and rip a strip off one of gremlin#1's ohhhhh man did that feel good..lmao.

I feel like I have entered the twilight zone. I picked up a cold that never really got severe but just made me feel sick enough that I could only function at half things like badging and blogging have fallen by the side of the road...but never fear my dear blogging friends...I'M BACKKKKK!!

I am sure all you parents out there know what happens when Momma Gremlin gets one washes dishes (or does anything else) and for the last 2 nights we had take-out because I felt too bad to cook or even eat. The combination of that and too many cough drops have sent my sugars through the it will be a few days before I am feeling better I imagine.....

I will be lurking around over the next few days getting caught up on all the events of the last blog week. I hated to miss BB Friday yesterday but my head was so clogged and achy, I couldn't remember how to even spell the word BROTHER (or BIG for that matter...lmao).

I must say...what a freakin show on Thursday night. I hated to see Jess and Eric go but I knew it was gonna happen so I wasn't shocked. I was sorta glad to see Dick win the fast-forward-HOH but was really disappointed to hear that Zach is the next HOH. I KNEW the house guests were gonna regret keeping Zach and now it is going to bite them in the ass. That being said, I don't think I could have taken another week of Waaaamber in the house either..lmao.

At this point, my prediction of a winner is Danielle. I wouldn't mind seeing Dick win it either....but I do NOT want to see Zach win it. I know that Jamica does not have a prayer of making it to the final 2 because none of them could beat her in the end....maybe she deserves to win but I still think Danielle has played a better game even though I don't agree with a lot of her moral decisions. But as I have said before, that game can not be played well by those that have integrity...just a fact of the show ,in my mind.

Well, I am off to get some more rest...still not feeling the greatest. Have a great weekend all...will be back tomorrow with SOS.

As always, to be continued.................

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

*** warning...the following post does not come with a guarantee that it won't be a most likely will be warned......proceed with caution.***

Well we all managed to survive the first day of school, despite the bus not showing up in the morning for gremlin #2 and BOTH gremlins coming home day one with homework....

I would like to say that it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be...but honestly it was...

I have spent the last 24 hours trying to figure out what it is that has my stomach in one big knot and trying to convince myself that I am over-reacting but I am not...and I know I am not.

Part of the problem is simple loneliness...I live in a very small town where no one knows one WANTS to know me and no one cares if I live or die (other than the gnome and gremlins of course). I work out of my home so I have no human contact and quite simply I got used to having the gremlins home with me this summer. I bitch and complain about them on a daily basis...but now that they are gone, I am lost. This will pass with time I know...but that doesn't make these initial days any easier.

The more pressing issue right now is dealing with the school system again. I would rant and rave for a week about our local school system so I will TRY to control is enough to say I HATE the schools here.

I have mentioned before that both of the gremlins have a learning disability. Gremlin#1 has ADD and gremlin #2 has severe ADHD. The school system here is failing them miserably and they honestly don't seem to give a fuck. This stupid attitude they have of "leaving no kid behind at the kids expense" is TOTAL bullshit. Gremlin#1 just started Grade 10 yesterday and has her arch nemesis MATH this semester. I approached the school worried that maybe it would be better for her to repeat Grade 9 math. She got a 53 in math last year and that was only because the teacher gave her extra credit work (take home that I could help with) to get her credit. She doesn't have a firm grasp on the material and the school's position is that they don't care as long as she gets the credit for the course...which I think is total bullshit!!! Then the fuckers tell us they have decided not to offer French this year...of course the ONLY course at school she likes...and can't get it anymore.(remember I am Canadian and until a few yrs ago French was manditory..thank you fuckhead gov't!!)

Then there is gremlin#2. He is in grade 8 this year and it is REALLY bugging me. Unfortunately, his ADHD is pretty severe and every year is a struggle. The school would rather sweep him under the rug and push him through so he is someone else's problem. No one seems to think it matters that he still reads at a third grade reading level...and that is mostly due to me and the gnome. In the eight years he has been in school, he has had 2 teachers that gave a rats ass about him learning something. The teacher he had last year was awesome and I hated to see her go... lets hope the new one this year works out to be the same way (although I somehow doubt it).

I get it..I know they are overworked and have a lot of kids to deal with...but I really don't give a flying fuck at this point. It is my job to worry about MY kids...and I am so sick and tired of having to always fight and claw for every little bit of help for them.

Believe me I KNOW it could be worse....they aren't dying from some terrible disease...they are both healthy and alive...the rest is gravy...logically those thoughts are of course in my mind and heart.

But today I am beaten and discouraged...I have dealt for 11 years with a school system that has repeatedly fucked us over...shown us time and time again that they DO NOT CARE if my children have basic skills when they leave school...and that is just not good enough!! I am the Momma is my job to protect them and not let anyone hurt them.....and when push comes to shove I have failed them...

My fears are that in the end, I won't triumph over the "all mighty school system"...that my beautiful wonderful(and PITA) gremlins will finish school and not be able to take care of themselves...and it will be my fault...I will have let them down!!

The saddest thing is not having hope for them...I love them so much and want all this world has to offer for every parent. But my thoughts are filled with fear...who will take care of them when they "graduate" and can't even find a job ...I will give my life for those gremlins...but the sad truth is I won't live forever...and I want better for them than what I have managed to give them.

Like every boxer...I will continue to get back up and start swinging again....if there is one thing this all has taught me is to NEVER be afraid to be a bitch at school for your kids....if they don't like me, who cares!! I won't stop fighting for them...I never have and I never will..until I give my last breath on this earth. I will keep swinging and heaven help them...l won't go down without a fight.

Thanks for reading my rant....we now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

As always, to be continued............

p.s. It should show how upset I am...I didn't even watch BB last night( I taped it.lmao).

Tuesday, September 4, 2007


Hello all...I hope this finds you all well. I do not know where the last 11 days went but holidays are gone and we return to real life today. The gnome headed back to work this morning and it is the first day of gremlin school today so I am out of sorts and at odds.

It is so quiet here it is creepy...and I just don't know what to do with myself. It was a very odd weekend...the kids were so hyper and worked up about going back to school and my nerves added into the mix just made things crazy. To make the morning even more insane, gremlin#2's bus forgot to stop and pick him up so we had to run him to school ourselves...

What would life be without a crazy first day of school...

I will post more another day about why this school year is bothering me so much...but I just can't do it wanted to share a funny with you all instead...

Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until , one day, he comes across a Harley with a for sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.

He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. "Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain." And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in." "When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."

"No problem," he says.. And in they go.

Joe is shocked ! Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word.

So he reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word.

So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents.

His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks . So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her right there on the dinner table.

Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.

Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, that's enough, I'll do the dishes!"

Hee hee hee.....

Have a great Tuesday least Big Brother is on tonight...

As always, to be continued..............